Chimpware.org

Chimpware has moved

2006-03-18T12:10:00.000Z

Chimpware has now officially moved to Wordpress, which you can find @ cware.wordpress.com or www.chimpware.org. Please move your bookmark over there!

Ta,

Sideath

Chimpware Userbars

2006-03-12T14:44:00.000Z

I just made these rather fetching userbars for use on websites and forums:

HTML: Forum Code:

HTML: Forum code:

Feel free to use them :)

LAND OCTOPUS UNITE!

2006-03-11T22:16:00.000Z

What is LOU? Land Octopus Unite is a way of life. A religion. A small sea based creature, lost in the torrents of life. Truth be told, LOU is whatever you want it to be - a husband, a dog, a money box, or just a frivalous product of Nocashvalue's warped mind. Go now, and be forever enlightened in the way of the octopus of land.

Original Concept- Progressive Art

2006-03-09T15:06:00.000Z

-Original Concept is my new Column showcasing some of my most inspired ideas-

If there's one thing i would like to be known as when i grow up its an Artist, But I have one problem.
Im not amazing good at anyone thing, I mean im a more than capable Photographer but im screwed if i know the difference between ISO and EV. Im a dab hand at Watercolours but i wouldn't know where to start if i had to cover a 4ft Canvas. And the same goes for Music, Books & Films. But what if i could harness all my slightly unimpressive talents to create a piece of Art that's not only interesting but also fresh and unique.

Well that's where Progrssive Art (Or Prog Art, For all you middle aged 70's rock fans.) Comes in.

The basic idea is to have a Live Studio of sorts set up in an Art Gallery, The public would be able to walk in and interact with the Artistic process. Giving the Artist there opinions on his work so far and maybe digging in to lend the Artist a hand maybe painting abit or playing an instrument they really could do anything,

As you can probably guess the things that could be achieved though this are limitless. No more Artistic block, When the Artist is running low on ideas he could simply ask someone nearby what they would do. And there would certainly be no more limits on how big the piece of Art could be, And also of cause how varied it could be.

Well that's Progress Art, I hope you feel inspired by my idea. Please leave any suggestions on what Prog Art you would make, And you never know if i get enough good suggestions i may just make a competition out of it.

Flickr Exposure .1

2006-03-09T04:14:00.000Z

-Flickr Exposure is the new series showcasing my favorite Photos from the Social Networking site Flickr.com-

Today's Photos all come from the same Photographer and his name is.. YACHT.

Enjoy.

Podcast Alley 'blacklisted' by Microsoft, and Adam Curry's response

2006-03-08T10:04:00.000Z

Those of you who have emailed me regarding your vote for Chimpware on Podcast Alley, and the fact that you haven't recieved the verification email. My guess here is that Microsoft has blacklisted Podcast Alley, therefore if you have a .hotmail or a .msn account, it's likely that your vote hasn't been counted. This is due to the huge number of emails that Podcast Alley send off to Hotmail accounts.

This obviously destroyes the democracy of Podcast Alley. After all, Hotmail is still probably the biggest email provider out there, especially for the youth of today with thier MSN Messanger and VoIP. This is a large problem. If this demograph cannot vote on Podcast Alley, there will be a bias against them.

I then contacted the co-inventor of Podcasts, and guy-in-charge of Podcast Alley and the Podsafe Network, PodFather Adam Curry. My MP3 comment was played on his daily Show, the Daily Source Code #348, and in the Sirius Satellite Radio window, too! Here's my question and his response:

'The main reason why I'm calling is because there's problems with Podcast alley, the Podcast voting system. It seems that some of my friends, who have Hotmail accounts (which is the worst account ever), can't vote for it as I think Podcast Alley has been blacklisted. I just thought that you wanted to know because aren't being counted... So my podcast has only two votes! Good luck, love the Charlie, Tata.'

Here's Adam Curry's Response:

'It's kind of fortuitous that this has all come together where we're learning about this 'white list' 'blacklist' stuff and this incredibly unfriendly email tax that I believe AOL says they're going to start next month to put on email, which is not spam protection for you, it's just guaranteeing the spammers that the spam will get through! And when I say spammers, I of course mean marketers who call you from somewhere and send it on through. We found this out quite by accident, although I have a feeling that I do recall Chris Macentire mentioning this to me months and months ago, and yes, it is indeed a problem.

Hotmail is the biggest offender, again Hotmail and MSN both blacklist all kinds of email, and they will send you to a different company, a third party, which they use exclusively to have this stuff solved. Which costs money! If anyone knows if that company is partially owned by Microsoft, please let me know!

This is really the multi-tiered internet.'

So looks like we're stuck. I guess Adam Curry is looking into this problem, and well, it's a problem that Microsoft is doing this. There's one easy solution, though. Switch to Gmail! Or your own domain! Anyone who has a Hotmail account can easily switch via www.gmail.com/accounts.
If not, email me at chimpware@gmail.com And I'll be glad to send you an invite!

Chimpware is currently ranked 737th out of 15875 Podcasts on Podcast Alley. It is also ranked 100th out of 2097 Technology podcasts (9th March).

Podcast Alley
Adam Curry's Daily Source Code
Adam Curry's Daily Source Code #348
Chimpware Podcast Archive
Vote for Chimpware!
Digg this Story - This Story on Newsvine - del.icio.us

Original Concept Archive

2006-03-07T11:34:00.000Z

Original Concept is rEVO's new Column showcasing some of his most inspired ideas...

[Archive]

Original Concept: Progressive Art

Flickr Exposure Archive

2006-03-07T11:23:00.000Z

Social networking? Who needs friends?

[Flickr Exposure archive]

Flickr Exposure .1

Brits play the New IBF scoring system

2006-03-07T09:20:00.000Z

Last saturday (4th March) England's badminton squad played Denmark in the Carlton Guidhall cup in Preston hall. Only a minor tournament i know, the results were good for the Brits, seeing Gail Emms and Donna Kellogg win the women's doubles, Tracy Hallam in the women's singles, and Nathan Robertson and Gail Emms win the mixed doubles, the English squad lost out in the men's singles and the men's doubles; bad luck Aamir Ghaffar, Anthony Clark and Robert Blair.
This was the first competitive win over the Danes since 1986 and was also the Brit's first competetive games under the new IBF scoring system. The new system has caused some conscern among badminton players (myself and Simon) as it radically alters the way the game is played. As oppossed to the traditional 15 point, point-on-serve system, players now must play 21 point games and get a point every rally. In doubles games, each side now only gets one serve per service. The fact that each side now gets a point on winning a rally regardless of who delivered the service means that it is near impossible to recover if you are say 6-0 down. The IBF stated that the new system will stop sides tiring their opponents out and will mean that badminton games can be more easily telivised as it shortens the game length. However, I personally can't see the logic there as the longest game on record was 2 hours, the average tennis games is 2 and a half hours and they are still very popular to this day.
Either way, what are our reader's views? If you happen to be interested, post your thoughts at chimpware@gmail.com

Pope Gets an iPod

2006-03-04T11:41:00.000Z

All Apple who art in heaven
iMac be thy name
Thy iTunes comes
Sells a billion songs
and iPod gets given to the pope... sorry that was crap.

Yes, the Pope has been given an iPod...

The playlist? Besides the Vatican Radio podcast, they've got Beethoven, Mozart, Chopin, Tchaikovsky and Stravinsky. Puhleese.

'Pope Benedict XVI got an iPod on Friday, thanks to a group of workers at Vatican Radio.

According to a Catholic News Service story, the pontiff got a 2GB white Nano, loaded with, among other things, the radio station's programming in English, Italian and German, as well as classical tunes from Mozart, Chopin and Stravinsky.

The Nano was given to the Pope following a visit to Vatican Radio, CNS reported.' - Cnet

Full Cnet Story

Nintendo DS Lite Launch

2006-03-03T16:13:00.000Z

The Nintendo DS Lite launched yesterday. I was really, really tempted to pre order via Lik-sang, however, I decided to wait. This seemed like the right decision. Apparently, due to the huge rush of people going off and buying the Lite, there were huge shortages and Lik-sang had to raise its prices, not to mention the pull-back of the release date of non-white DSLs.

Nintendo DS Lite Launch in detail
Problems with Lik-sang

Links of Interest 1

2006-03-03T16:07:00.000Z

The news in tech and gaming and stuff this week... well, the news I read anyway.

Microsoft uses sex to sell
Google switches to AMD from Intel
DS Lite Launches
Lego USB Drive
Firefox 2 Rumours
Sega's Worst Game Ever
Elder Scrolls III Release Date Announced
Wikipedia Reaches 1,000,000

Mod Roundup: Half life 2 singleplayer mods

2006-03-02T13:43:00.000Z

In this roundup I will be looking at two mods which alter the original half life 2 singleplayer, both leave the story mostly intact, but add loads of cool goodies.

SMOD simply adds bullet time and loads of new weapons. The bullet time works very well, much better then the standalone bullet time mod, bullet trails are fun and it's not too slow. The weapons are the real attraction to SMOD though, it adds some weapons from other valve games, the ak47 from csSs and the kar 98k from Dod:s for example. But above all SMOD is about the comedy, Gordon's magical wand looks like something from "Hello Kitty" but shoots magical bolts of electro death. The psp is another fun weapon, firing explosive umd's at hordes of combine doesn't get old. In a tribute to worms the banana bomb makes an appearance, but it's not as cool as throwing a pair of scissors which instantly destroy anything in their path. The list of weapons is too huge to go into now, mainly because I'm lazy, but it really does add another layer to hl2, a comedy layer admitedly, but it does make replaying half life 2 that bit more enjoyable.

First the worst second the best. I've been playing all the incarnations of Half Life 2: substance for a while now and their latest version hl2: substance GOLD is one of the best mods for hl2 out at the moment. It's basically a cross breed of the Metal Gear Solid series and Hl2, and it works surprisingly well. You get different suit modes; Gordon, Solid Snake, Liquid Snake, Big Boss and (as an extra when you complete the game) Gray Fox. Each form has different weapons and abilities, the only common ground being the gravity gun and bullet time (it's not a mod if it doesn't have bullet time these days kids!). Solid's stealth works quite well, essentially a modification of the aux power system used in Hl2, it allows for some very satisfying knife kills. Liquid is brilliant in combat and his dual Magnum's are brutally fun, easily gibbing any enemies in the way. There are also numerous game modes, the "European" mode being the usual romp through City 17 and Gordon Tales being the mod teams take on the 7 hours war of Half Life lore (rhyme intentional). Making the mode you're playing "survivor" gives a halo sytle recharging health system and more enemies. The health distribution system introduced into the main game is pretty good too, you get health by headshotting enemies, meaning any situtation can be resqued by some bullet time and dual Magnums. Ace.

Wanna know where to get these rather nice games? Try Google, it's your freind.

Canada's Healthcare System (Revisited)

2006-02-28T22:22:00.000Z

Yay!

I'm finally out of that hell-hole they call a hospital. I had been stuck in there waiting for surgery since last wednesday, and I was getting a little tired of having a needle stuck into one of my veins for an eternity.

Because of the multitude of injuries sustained by very prudent Canadian citizens whilst skating on hard ice in -30 degree celcius weather, without any proper protection may I say, the hospitals were full of whining "adults" complaining about how much their muscles hurt, and how much their ears hurt from being outside in very cold weather for extended periods of time. There are also those people who have legitimate injuries, however stupid they may be. Like a broken knee for example. Now there are a few simple solutions to getting rid of these problems;
1. Kill all of these people,
2. Warn them that maybe they should dress for the weather,
3. Extradite them, or,
4. Make them sit in a hospital for six days at a time for a half hour procedure.

It would seem that all of us have chosen option 4. Yes, I did sit in a hospital for six days on iv, and yes I did sit around for 6 days waiting for a 30 minute procedure. And yes, my injury was a stupid one.

I don't know if this rant has any direction, and it certainly doesn't feel like it does, but I am just frustrated with the fact that normal people, however idiotic they may be, are made to suffer like this. I am one of the lucky ones, believe me, and I have certainly had an extremely short stay at the hospital compared to other people I met whilst I was there. Again, the conditions I was kept in were, terrible. There were flies making their rounds in my room! Flies! It's absolutely ridiculous, and there is no reason for this to happen.

Reptitiveness is my forte, so forgive me if I keep saying the same thing over again, but someone has to start doing something about this type of happening. Someone has to say something. I have been trying to do things about this, I have sent complaints to my MP, and that's only the beginning.

I wonder if people in Britain are doing the same thing. Is there anyone in the Isles who disagrees with their system of healthcare? Is there anyone doing something about that? I would honestly like to know.

Rant Over

Any comments, please leave them here, or email me at ian_forestell@hotmail.com

Civ IV: Teh Review

2006-02-27T21:35:00.001Z

Format: PC
Publisher: 2K Games
Developer: Firaxis
Genre: 4X
Price: Variable, £30 new
Reviewer: Munki

Yeah, so this is about my third attempt to review Civilisation IV, I've actually had the game for ages, it's just been difficult for me to commit my thoughts to paper. Erm, E-paper. Yes. Civ IV is the latest in Firaxis' brilliant 4X series (eXplore, eXpand, eXploit & eXterminate) and manages to improve on the winning formula and easing the series into the third dimention.
I'm going to avoid the technical workings of the game, mostly because Simon "The Wang" Wang is paranoid I steal my reviews from PCGamer UK, and thats exactly what they did. Suffice to say, Civ IV continues much as the rest of the series, you start with a settler, create your first city, research some new technology, build new units etc amd eventually conquer the world. How you go about this is totally up to you, and the rewards for exploring new play styles are the numerous winning conditions, space race, diplomatic, military blah blah blah. Much of the boring old micro management has been stripped away in this game, but some remains if you like that sort of stuff, the rest of us will ignore it and lose nothing from the game. New features include the much demanded implementation of religeon, which I must say has been handled in a very subtle and fluid way, noice. The other big thing of course is the changing of civics to make them a bit more flexible, it's a good system and works well, allowing strange cross breeds of Communism and Universal Suffrage.
The game also benefits from it's spangly new engine. Some people will tell you that looks don't mean anything, that graphics aren't important. These people (my younger, more naive self included) are idiots. Graphics make things look pretty and can (shock horror) enhance the gameplay or even your game experience.Civ IV is achingly pretty, although until a lovely optimising patch I was running it on 7 fps, yum. Theres still a bit of lag in the late game when your screen is covered with lots of little railways and coal plants, but it is worth it, worth it so much [/drooling].
If I'm being honest I havent actually tried the multiplayer yet, we'll ignore the fact that thats actually because I'm scared of people and pretend that it's because the game is so damn replayable. Oh it really is that replayable? Again, noice. It's difficult to talk about this game without knowing in your head, that what your saying is a massive under statement, but then I am British so what do you expect? To be perfectly honest though if turn based games and 4X's really don't do it for you then theres not much here you'll enjoy, it certainally won't change your opnions about the genre. However if you are a fan of superior strategy then it would be a crime to miss out on one of the most rewarding games ever made ("omg I got a 6:1 kd ratio on dust the other day" "so what I nurtured a people from a tiny settlement to rulers of the earth in just over an hour"). There can be no praise great enough I can give this game to really put it in context for you, well, not until "The Wang" lets me give games a percentage score.

Ten Out of Ten (and 98% if your not Si)

Twenty Years of Nintendo

2006-02-26T16:13:00.000Z

It seems weird that In February of 1986 the NES was released in the USA... and in typical Chimpware fashion, we're to lazy to do a tribute ourselves, so we've got another site to do it for us. Although normally I would warn people to stray away from Gamespot's so-called 'features', this one is really quite good. Really. So have a look.

Gamespot 20 Years Flashback NES

Chimpware Podcast 6

2006-02-23T19:56:00.000Z

The Sixth Chimpware podcast is now avaliable for download! We do a news roundup of the biggest Chimpware, Tech, Music and Political headlines in the fast two weeks.

Hosts: Simon Wang, Miles Coverdale, Sam Street
Playing Length: 42:20

*0:00 Intro

*0:46 Chimpware News:
Forum Launch – Nocash did great job,
Afflicates: Sheep2Ewe, Lik-Sang

*2:33 Tech News:
OS X Worm,
Amazon vs Apple,
New iPod?,
Skype/Intel limitations

*12:33 Interlude: The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny – Lemon Demon

*16:05 No Spam!
Gaming News:
DS Lite's Opera based Web browser,
DS Lite's TV Tuner,
ONM New Magazine UK,
S*x Workers against GTA,
PS3 Launch Details Released,
Xbox Live Success
Halo 2 Vista Only
Capcom Triple coming to PC

*32:47 Interlude: Mark My Words - Granian (Thanks to the Podsafe Music Network)

*36:06 Vote for us on Podcast Alley! And TPN!

*37:15 Political News:
Dick Cheney. Shooting Lawyer. In Face. With Shotgun.
UK Terrorism Bill

*42:10 Outro

DOWNLOAD:
[Direct Download] [Odeo] [iTunes] [Stream] [All Channels]

Importing?

2006-02-21T12:08:00.000Z

Chimpware is now an official afflicate of Lik-Sang.com, the leading internet videogame, manga, anime and other Japanese and US items importer. Now, with every order from Lik-Sang directed from Chimpware, Chimpware recieves a percentage of the price of the item as a donation. Therefore, if you want to import, as well as support Chimpware, go Lik Sang!

Lik Sang main site
Nintendo DS
Sony PS2
Sony PSP
Nintendo Gamecube
Microsoft Xbox & Xbox 360

Therefore, every time you want to import (say, a Nintendo DS lite), then please link from Chimpware! Thanks!

The Thought Police...Everybody Run!

2006-02-21T09:39:00.000Z

David John Cadwell Irving was imprisoned on the 20th of February in Austria for 3 years following his return to the country after he was exiled from Austria for denying the holocaust's existance. He was an out-spoken denier of the events for many years since his early publications in the late 60's such as 'Apocalypse 1945.' It is also claimed by other respected holocaust historians that he is an active anti-Semite and a racist. So what do our readers think? Was this imprisonment justified? Whilst denying the holocaust's existance may be an absurd thing to do both factually and for the insult to it's victim's relatives, is it right to imprison somebody simply for what they believe?

Post your thoughts at chimpware@gmail.com

Chimpware Forums Active

2006-02-20T13:26:00.000Z

Just a quick post to inform everyone that the Chimpware Forums are now re-active. I hope all our readers take a moment to register with our forums and comment on a few threads.

You can access the forums here

Thanks

Sideath

Katamari Flash-amacy!

2006-02-19T22:07:00.000Z

Namco has come out with a fun little flash version of the popular PS2 game, Katamari Damacy. It doesn't really play the same as the PS2 game, but that doesn't make it any less fun - and certainly not any less weird.

Katamari Damacy Flash Game

Canada's Healthcare System - Experienced first hand

2006-02-19T19:47:00.000Z

There I was sitting in a stupid little wheelchair.

It was 0130 on Saturday morning, and I had just torn a ligament, cartilage, and many other things in my knee.

I had been in the Ottawa General Hospital's emergency room since 2030 the previous evening. Although a seemingly minor injury, it was the most painful thing in my life. My knee had literally cracked under me, the cap and moved one way, and then had (thankfully) returned to position. Of course accompanied by a ridiculously large amount of pain. I had just started my second weekend of Basic Military Qualifications for the Canadian Army when this had all happened. After a large deal of ridicule from my master corporal, I was finally brought to the hospital.

There I waited for a very long time until I was seen by a nurse. (Yes she was the cliché, blonde, stupid nurse who needed to call for the doctor whenever a patient started showing signs of humanity, like pain for example). She asked me the usual questions, "where does it hurt?" etc.

What really pissed me off though, were the conditions in which I was being treated. The doctor had to perform a minor operation on my knee (blood draining, because of the massive swelling), and at first just before I warned him, he wasn't wearing any gloves. No mask, nothing.

Talk about a great government facility. There I was waiting in line when someone with a dislocated thumb who had arrived a few hours after me, was shunned in front of me because they were "weaker" than me. Holy bejesus, if I hadn't been gritting my teeth in pain, I would've waiting an eternity.

Our healthcare system, borrowed from Great Britain's NHS, works on the exact same principals. The taxpayer pays for shitty care, while in the U.S., people get health care quickly, no questions asked, and have to pay afterwards. Personally, I would rather pay for good healthcare, than pay stupid taxes for terrible healthcare.

Our new PM though, has proposed a better plan. A two-tiered system, where people without the money benefit from a free healthcare system, and where people with the money also benefit from an efficient system. When there are less people in the waiting lines, there are less people becoming as negative and cynical about the system as I am.

Rant Over.

Official Nintendo Magazine

2006-02-18T19:11:00.000Z

As another follow on, I got my issue of ONM yesterday. First impression is: very sexy cover, made of a nice matte paper. Inside is some very 'mature' layouts and design schemes. I'm currently on page 27, and so far it has been lacking in any of the character NOM posessed. I shall see how the rest of the magazine unfolds, and perhaps buy another few issues before I make my judgement, but at the moment I prefer NOM as a magazine, and ONM as a source of content.
It came with a rather nice free gift of sticky DS decals, so now I have the nice guitar dog from animal crossing strumming away inside my DS.
Also noteworthy is the subscription of £9.99 per 3 months, with a free Metroid Prime: Echoes, Donkey Konga (with bongos) or Pikmin 2. This is quite nifty, as I have been intending to purchase donkey konga, so Donkey Konga for £30 with 9 free issues of ONM is quite a bargain.
:)

pps NOM is officially discontinued.

Is this the end?

2006-02-17T22:53:00.000Z

Following on from Simon's news about the new magazine 'The Official Nintendo Magazine,' I would like to hear some thoughts from readers about their opinions on the new mag and in particular, what people think will happen to the current officially affiliated magazine in the U.K. Nintendo Official Magazine (or NOM as it's know). Is it the end? Or has the team at NOM towers got some fight left in 'em?

Post your thoughts at chimpware@gmail.com

New Nintendo Magazine

2006-02-16T16:47:00.000Z

For our readers in the UK and Europe (ie the majority of Team Chimpware), we're getting a brand new Nintendo Magazine from our friends in Future Publishing.

The real news though is that this magazine is apparently going to be brilliant. In the first issue they will have a developer interview with Capcom about its plans for the Revolution, DS lite and Revolution hands on time and some new (supposedly) Twilight Princess info. Their new website has launched and you can also subscribe online, even if you aren’t in the UK.

Official Nintendo Magazine Site
Online Subscription Site
GAF Interview
Further details over on 4colorrebellion

DS Web browser announced

2006-02-15T12:24:00.000Z

Nintendo have announced a wi-fi web browser for the DS.
It is being developed by Opera, who created the firefox-like PC browser.
Pencilled in at an equivalent price of £25 in Japan, there are currently no plans for a US/UK release, although Reggie has hinted at it.

For more info:
Clicky

iPorn

2006-02-14T13:39:00.000Z

Y'know I've been going on and on about my idea, the iPorn recently?

Well someone else got there before me... ;)

Oh yeah! (Click here!)

Thank you Wasted Network!

FAQ

2006-02-14T11:39:00.000Z

1. How do I contact Chimpware?

You can contact chimpware at the email chimpware@gmail.com. If the question is related to Chimpware, then we may feature it on another mailbag.

2. How do I link direct chimpware articles?

Due to the nature of our domain hosting, you will always see http://www.chimpware.org on the top of your URL bar. However, if you wish to directly link to chimpware articles, simply type in http://chimpware.blogspot.com into the URL bar, then click to the link you want. The URL will then be a direct link to the specific chimpware article.

3. How can I join Chimpware?

Although chimpware has now stopped recruiting contributors, if you still wish to be a contributor for us, then simply send us an email with an example of your work, and send it to chimpware@gmail.com, then we'll see what we can do!

More questions? Then contact chimpware@gmail.com, and if they're relavent, then they will be added into this FAQ.

Chimpware Podcast 5

2006-02-12T12:12:00.000Z

Welcome to the long awaited fifth Chimpware Podcast!

Hosts: Simon Wang, Miles Coverdale, Sam Street, Joe Marks

*0:00 Intro
*0:07 News: Chimpware, New Members, E3, DS, Tech
*6:31 Fine Crystal: Storm
*10:19 Discussion: Evil Videogames
*26:02 Interview: Fine Crystal
*31:40 Outro

[Direct Download] [Odeo] [iTunes] [Stream] [All Channels]

Chimpware Mailbag 1

2006-02-11T11:26:00.001Z

That's right people! WE GOT FANMAIL! Or three, anyway.

Please can I remind all fans that fanmail should be addressed to chimpware@gmail.com, NOT my personal email! Thanks.

1. DS Lite

Hi Chimpware!

Great Website! Anyway, I was interested in your DS Lite news. I was wondering what your opinion was on it? I mean, surely it's just another version of the Nintendo DS?

Phil (Osaka, Japan)

Sideath Yes, that really is it. I'm still getting one though.
Sam Well, the DS lite is just the current version of the DS, but lighter, hence 'lite'...
Miles Yes...

2. Release Dates

Do you think the Revolution will be released before the PS3?

Ricochet

Sideath Reggie did say that the Revolution would arrive by Thanksgiving this year in a press release, I think...
Sam But didn't Sony say that the PS3 would be released before June?
Sideath Really?
Sam Yeah.
Sideath Oh, fair enough
Miles So that's a no then.
Sideath Yes... I mean no? [laughs].

3. Websites

What websites do you guys (and gals?) visit regularly?

Dave

LoneWookie
http://www.megatokyo.com <----- Great web comic series http://www.pennyarcade.com <--------- Hilarious webcomic http://www.n-next.com <---------- Fantastic Nintendo news http://www.4colorrebellion.com <----------- My favorite gaming blog ever http://www.thinkgeek.com <--------- Fantastic shopping website http://glowingmuffin.forumup.com <--------- My forums, I spend alot of time here http://www.woot.com <--------- Another great shopping website and of course http://www.gmail.com
Sideath Yeah, 4cr's great...
Sideath I'll think I'll go w**k

To send us mail, please send it to chimpware@gmail.com

Thank You!

Haggis

2006-02-10T22:07:00.000Z

The Haggis. To most of you, a delcious (or not so delicous) dish made using various bits of various animals that only the Scots would think of putting into food. However, to some, the Haggis is in fact a rare living creature - and everyone who thinks overwise is just kidding themselves.

This excellent website contains full details of the Haggis species, Haggis hunting jargon, and even Haggis Cam - webcams to allow 24/7 Haggis searching. It also has a range of Haggis games and a Haggis shop. Enjoy.

http://haggishunt.scotsman.com/

Canada's New PM

2006-02-10T16:44:00.000Z

(Part 1 was written the day after Stephen Harper was elected into parliament. Part 2 was written on Feb 10)

Part I

Finally a change for Canada. Finally someone who will (hopefully) be able to start fixing all the crap the liberals have done to our country.

First off, in my opinion, Harper is more capable of understanding parents in the childcare issue than Paul Martin was. Harper has young kids, is young himself, and i think that this could help him in the childcare issue.

Second, I believe that it shoudl be a priority to Harper to get back onto the good side of the Americans. We absolutely need them. Without them we would be a complete and utter third world country.

Third, I would be extremely happy if Harper could resolve the Quebec issue. Because Martin was completely ignoring them, Quebec wanted nothing more than to separate. But when they saw that a prime minister would be willing to listen to them, and actually do something about their issues, they won Harper 10 seats in that province. That's pretty good.

I just wish that the liberal supporters would actually open their eyes, and watch some news, and not forget the countless amount of things Paul Martin's government did to undermine the very foundations of this country. I just wish people would stop being so cowardly, and face up to the fact that a conservative government will most likely boost our global standing, our economy (lowering of GST), and just raise the standard of living for everyone, not just the select few Paul Martin chose to give dirty money to.

Part II

I would just like to say how freaking stupid the Canadian people, including myself, were in electing this new Prime Minister. As previously stated, I have been happy with the election of a minority conservative government in Canada, because I thought that they would be able to uphold the true Canadian values of honesty and integrity.

Well what an idiot I was believe this. Stephen Harper has now done exactly the same thing as Paul Martin (our previous PM). He preached to us about accountability, then he turns around and appoints a corrupt ex-liberal onto his new cabinet. This guy name Emerson was part of the Liberal money laundering scandal, and Harper used to his advantage Canadian ignorance to appoint a stupid idiot as a minister. WTF.

Now Harper has made all his supporters look like complete and utter idiots, and this infuriates me. I, among many others, fought to have this man elected into parliament, and now all the Liberal supporters are laughing at us. I am pissed off at being made to look this way, and I don't know about England, but I hope that politicians don't employ the same tactics to ridicule their supporters.

Rant Over.

Donate and Support Chimpware!

2006-02-10T15:22:00.000Z

Chimpware is a free and non-profit organisation, which we gather for all the love of videogaming, technology and everything else we do. However, there are still domain and bandwidth costs to keeping Chimpware up and running, therefore I would be grateful if anyone would donate to Chimpware to help us keep our website running.

[Donate]

[Donate to Paypal Account]

[Donate via Visa/Mastercard/Solo]

[Donate via Cash]

If you see me around, contact freeyourmindsqw@gmail.com

Donators: Sideath, Miles, Sam, Munki

[Support]

On the other hand, if you don't want to just simply donate to Chimpware, you can always bid of the Chimpware Team's eBay auctions, or visit our supporter and afflicate's website, Lik-Sang, the leading internet videogame, manga, anime and other Japanese and US items importer, via Chimpware! ;)

[eBay Auctions]

Sideath
LoneWookie

[Lik-Sang]

Lik Sang main site
Nintendo DS
Sony PS2
Sony PSP
Nintendo Gamecube
Microsoft Xbox & Xbox 360

Chimpware Mailbag Archive

2006-02-10T13:34:00.000Z

To send Chimpware an email, simply contact chimpware@gmail.com.

[Mailbag Archive]

Mailbag 1 (11/2/06)

Metroid Prime: Hunters voice chat

2006-02-09T19:29:00.000Z

Earlier today, Reggie announced that Metroid Prime: Hunters will support voice chat with the DS' microphone before and after games, over Wi-Fi. Unfortunatley (perhaps fortunatley for some :p), it won't be avaliable during games.

Source: Totalvideogames.com

Satoru Iwata At GDC 2006

2006-02-08T11:05:00.000Z

Last year at the 2005 Game Developers Conference, Nintendo president Satoru Iwata announced his company's next-generation console, the Revolution, would have wireless functionality. Last month, he told a Japanese newspaper that his company is planning to launch the Revolution in November 2006.

Next Month we can expect Iwata to divulge further information about the Revolution. His lecture titled "Disrupting Development," Iwata will "inspire developers to take risks and mine the depths of their imaginations to create innovative games regardless of the size of teams or budgets," according to the organisers of GDC.

"We are extremely honored to feature an experienced platform leader such as Satoru Iwata as a keynote speaker," said GDC director Jamil Moledina in a statement. "As Nintendo reinvents the scope of what games can be, it is ever more crucial to share their creative and market-growing philosophies with the other leaders of the game creation industry."

[News] Calloo, Callay!

2006-02-08T11:01:00.000Z

For those with an eye on the news might have already noticed, but there is a precedent for legal Peer-to-Peer filesharing being set in France; albeit only for non-commercial purposes.

See the link for more information.
Link : Register: France Legalises Peer-to-Peer

[Guns] Colt M1873 Single Action Army

2006-02-08T10:30:00.000Z

Colt M1873 "Single Action Army" "Buntline Special" with 12" barrel
"Freud's Best Friend" Award Winner

As with many early American weapons the model number of the M1873 is the date of the adoption of the weapon, long since out of date and abandoned by the American Military.

The M1873 is naturally a revolver, it lacks self-cocking capability and many of the safety features of modern weapons in keeping with its original design. It is suggested that users not keep the weapon fully loaded since the weapon is not drop-safe and thus may go off if jolted hard even if kept in a holster.

Despite mainly staying true to the original design, Colt have rechambered the design to more modern rounds such as the .357 Magnum and even a .22 round.

The M1873 was hugely popular in the past and sold many thousands of units to both the American Military and Civilians. It has been popularised by Hollwood in Western films and that has served to revive interest in the model several times throughout its production run.

Technically the M1873 is one of the best example of mechanisms of the 19th Century firearms, it is very much a manual weapon.

In light of the information that a 12" barrel model was available Chimpware decided that only a Freud-inspired award could possibly do this gun the justice it deserves.

Chimpware Flickr 2

2006-02-07T12:13:00.000Z

Due to popular demand (ie none), here's another flickr set, or er... my desk in its various forms...
Flickr 2 Set
Flickr 2 Slideshow

Flickr Archive

News Related Articles Archive

2006-02-07T12:01:00.000Z

[Political]

State Of The Union
State Of The Union Followup
Androgynous Arabic Activists

[Technology]

Podcast Alley blacklisted by Microsoft
Pope gets an iPod
China Censoring The Internet

[Videogaming]

DS Lite launch
Twenty Years of Nintendo
Satoru Iwata at GDC 2006
Zelda's 20th
DS Lite Announced
Official Nintendo Magazine - Lead Up - Comment

[Sport]

New badminton scoring system

[Chimpware]

Chimpware Shares
v.1.5 Update
v.1.4 Update
v.1.3 Update
v.1.2 Update

Review: Avast! Antivirus

2006-02-06T22:03:00.000Z

Hopefully this review will prove a little useful to those looking to escape the pitfall that is Norton Antivirus, or even just those that want to try a different antivirus.

Firstly, I shall give you a link to the site of this wonderful (and free for home license) antivirus.

You will find it at the nice short url of

http://www.avast.com/

You’ll want to click downloads, then Avast 4 Home edition. You should get to this page

It should be very straightforward from there. One thing to note is that the free version of Avast requires a registration key, which is easily obtainable via email. However, the form filling does take up a few valuable seconds that could be spent on virus zapping or gaming, and you have to go through the ardor of opening your inbox.

The first thing you will have no doubt noticed by now is the name.

Avast sounds very pirate like, and we all know how good pirates are. Ninjas, however are better, but that argument is for another place or time.

Image of pirate for interest:

How swashbuckling.

However, the piratey goodness stops there unfortunately, sacrificed for a very sleek gui.

(Please ignore Kristin Kreuk’s nose, it is highly irrelevant, but rather nice <3)

How very sleek.

Avast can also be skinned into whatever theme you fancy.

It is also rather easy to use, like a chrome toaster, only inside a computer and having nothing to do with toast.

To begin a scan, I just have to click the top right button as seen above. This selects local drives. Then I press the play button that would possibly be more at home on a chrome Hi-Fi, as opposed to a chrome toaster. However I like toasters more than I could ever like a Hi-Fi, so we will get back on topic and I will attempt to stop referring to kitchen appliances.

And whee, the lovely not-so piratey thing is scanning through my hard drive for all those nasty virus types, who are very un-shipshape.

Avast can also scan removable media such as CD’s, DVD’s, Floppy disks, etc. This is done by pushing the button below that that selects your hard drive, so the button middle rightish.

Another easy thing is selecting the sensitivity of the scanner. Before pressing play, a tab pops out, with a slider on it, allowing you to dictate the level of sensitivity it searches for nasties with.

Avast also comes with its ‘On-Access Scanner’.

This is very very nifty, and runs in the background all the time, updating Avast (automatically or otherwise, if you choose) and monitoring. At the mere sniff of a virus, one of the best features of Avast happens.

It shouts at you.

Well, less shouts as sirens and robot voices you, informing you that:- “Warning, Warning, there is a virus on your computer!”. But the voice is a nice female robot voice, so it isn’t too scary. I sometimes wonder if, on the rare occasion I do manage to acquire a virus (see article on Firefox), she is actually a real person, merely talking in that rather odd fashion, or very heavily edited because people may not like their computer talking to them in a normal voice. And then I wonder if, indeed this person is a real person, whether it could be Kiera Knightley or the aforementioned Kristin Kreuk, but then I realize I have a virus and I get rid of it.

However, this getting rid of process is no more than a click of a button.

Avast catches the virus in some kind of no doubt piratey net, my imagination tells me. Then the nice lady tells you about it, and then you get a little popup telling you what virus it is, what type of virus it is, and details on the virus. It has a dismiss button, and the all important virus chest archivey button. A click of the latter locks the virus up in the chest, where it is no doubt keelhauled. Virus over, your precious ‘documents’ are safe.

I do realize I am rambling considerably here, so I will stop, and sum up.

Pros:

- Piratelike name

- Slick GUI

- Foolproof, easy use interface.

- On-Access protection negates the need for a scan, catching virii before they even get into your computer

- Loud noises

- Regular Updates

- Robot lady

Cons:

- Requires email validation

- Free license must be renewed in a year

And so, it comes to the final score.

I shall give Avast! A grand

Nine out of Ten

It also deserves a

Chimpware award.
(:

Cheers for reading- Nocash

ps: edit my post again and i will kill you wang

Battlefield 2 :)

2006-02-06T19:56:00.001Z

Format: PC
Publisher: EA Games
Developer: Dice
Genre: FPS
Price: Variable, £30 new
Reviewer: Munki

I don't like this game. I don't actually have fun whilst playing it. That's not actually a bad thing, I don't enjoy playing cs:s, but I've still racked up hundreds of hours playing it, it's an addiction thing. However I only take part in a few bits of the game, only experience a tiny part of the game. I do two things in BF2, I heal people and I drive up and down hills. Healing people gets me ranks and driving cars up and down hills gives me ammusement.

[I'm pretty sure Munki was drunk when writing this - Ed]

Seven out of Ten

Military Buff...ness?

2006-02-06T10:33:00.000Z

A few members of Chimpware are huge military buffs and/or gun nuts. For many of us, it was the only option left avaliable!

I for one actually spent quite a bit of time browsing gun sites and military books. I can quote statistics if they impress me enough. Example being that the Steyr IWS2000 can penetrate 40mm of Steel at a range of 1km using a tungsten dart fired from a SABOT that has to be hand loaded with a single round, naturally it is bolt action.

We don't claim to be infallible, we do claim to be quite knowledgable on the subject.

We don't restrict our knowledge to just modern weapons of War, just ask Munki about Second World War Russian Artillery or British MMGs of the same era.

So, as a disservice to you all, I'm thinking of taking a long look at various weapons of war and bringing the most interesting to your browser right here on Chimpware.

[Edited by: Sideath (lol)]

Thievery Review

2006-02-05T20:12:00.000Z

Thievery

This excellent, if now aged, multiplayer mod for the original Unreal Tournament builds upon the stunning PC series, Thief (from the now sadly deceased Looking Glass Studios). Thievery allows you to play as either the Thieves, where the experience is very like the original games(sneaking around in the dark, nicking stuff) or as the Guards. Playing as the Guards is a very different, but equally enjoyable, experience - where the Thieves use stealth to break into the levels, the Guards team have to do their best to defend the levels valuables - using traps and far heavier weaponry than the Thieves have available to them. The ingenious part of the mod is the stealth system - based around the visibility gem, the core of the Thief series. Thieves can see each other glowing red anywhere on the level - but what Guards see is linked to the light levels. Pitch black shadows make Thieves invisible, in full light, they are fully visible. Between these two, the level of shadow affects whether the Guards see a only vague outline, or a fuzzy but clearly visible Thief.

Level design is generally good - and very in keeping with the themes in the original games. Abandoned mines, ancient temples, secret cultists sites, strange experiments - each level oozes character, and the chance to play as the Guards as well as the Thieves gives you a chance to really live in the world of Thief. Each level has its own backstory and its own reason for existing. Some elements really are genuinely scary and disturbing (the asylum...) - others comic (look out for the discarded can of Dr Pepper in the shadows at the Thieves exit point on one level).

The range of gadgets and weaponry is also excellent, and most should be familiar to fans of the original Thief games. The modders have managed to shoehorn rope arrows, water arrows, etc. - and the familiar Thief equipment into the game, but have also given the Guards some fun toys - tag bolts which stick in fleeing theives, lighting them up like a Christmas tree, and the essential flares - the only way of rooting Thieves out of dark corners. Again, atmosphere is everything - while handling a flare, you're weapons are stowed away. It is a tense experience creeping forward, illuminated only by the green flare, while behind you your buddy covers you with his crossbow - and both of you pray the Thieves don't have any flashbombs.

The community for this mod is understandably small - especially compared to major games such as CS. However, it is also the friendliest, most welcoming community I have yet met. Other players will happily welcome you into games, give you tips and advice on how to play (whether you are on their team or not) and generally help you have a good experience - even if your not very good (e.g. me!). Occasionally someone might throw a hissy fit when you do something really stupid, like moving away from an objective as a Guard, but generally people are happy to forgive your errors and simply encourage you to do better next time.

To conclude - Thievery is not the best looking game ever, but level design is generally excellent and the gameplay and atmosphere is pure Thief. This game is not for everyone by any means - the learning curve is steep, especially with a core of very skilled players already out there. However, it is a refreshingly different online gaming experience - while the singleplayer versions of the levels are excellent additions to the extra levels already out there for Thief 1 and Thief 2.

I really hope more people download and play this mod - it has certainly been my favourite online gaming experience so far. Have fun - and watch out for the Spiders!

Check out Thievery at: http://www.thieveryut.com/

(Seriously about those Spiders - 10 o'clock at night on Th-Mensch...)

State of the Union Follow Up

2006-02-05T19:19:00.000Z

It would seem Mr Bush's words are already having an impact across the world. In response to Bush's "Freedom Corps" - basically volunteers who pledge their assistance to the USA in times of crisis (because normally in a time of crisis, everyone juts sits around hugging their guns - cough, New Orleans) - the Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez, has announced that Venezuela needs more guns (the 100,000 Kalashnikov assault rifles already on order from Russia are, it would seem, not enough) to defend itself from invasion. Freedom Corp? Try "one million well-equipped and well-armed men and women" ready to "defend our fatherland" against the man Hugo Chavez described thus - "I think Hitler would be like a suckling baby next to George W Bush". This - and the 12 military planes Spain recently said it would still sell to the country, despite American protests - can only make getting at Chavez's much-valued oil that little bit harder.

One more reasons for the US to try and find an alternative. Nice move for the safety of the planet, President Chavez

Chimpware Flickr 1

2006-02-04T10:39:00.000Z

Yes. Here's Team Chimpware and Company showing off their muscles. Yes.

Flickr Set
Flickr Slideshow

Resident Evil 4 on PC

2006-02-04T10:06:00.000Z

Capcom and Ubisoft have ganged up to bring three top console action games to PC, beginning in February with Onimusha 3: Demon Seige. Resident Evil 4 (voted Best Videogame of 2005 by Gamesradar and Edge) and Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening Special Edition will follow later this year.

The three titles are easily among our favourite games, from Onimusha 3's spectacular time shifting sword action to the breakneck terror of Resi 4, and the idea of seeing them in glorious PC pin-sharp detail has us sweating with anticipation.

Unfortunately, we've yet to see any images. But as soon as we do, you'll know about it.

Source: Gamesradar

Forums Down

2006-02-04T10:05:00.000Z

Because noone goes on them. :(

Links of Interest Archive

2006-02-03T22:42:00.000Z

LoI 1 (03/03/06)

State Of the Union

2006-02-02T20:58:00.000Z

On the evening of January 31st, George W. Bush delivered his annual state of the Union Address - basically, his report to the US on what has happened in the US over the last year, because Congress and the rest of the US's population is far too busy doing other things to err, see what's been going on in their own country. In reality, the State of the Union is the President putting his own spin on event past and setting out what he wants doing in the future.

Bush's Presidency has been flagging somewhat recently - as a result of political scandals at home and the small matter of Iraq abroad. The State of the Union address was Bush's chance to try and make the last year of his Presidency a positive one, and perhaps try and leave a legacy that isn't a world destabilised by war - and in dire environment striates. Recent reports by many eminent scientists suggest that the world is nearing, or has already passed, the point of no return when it comes to global warming. This means that Bush can no longer ignore the alarm bells over the environment. With Tony Blair under attack in Prime Ministers Question Time today for not going far enough with the UK's efforts to help tackle this growing problem, and Al Gore producing a film highlighting the dangers facing America if they continue to burn resources like no tomorrow, it comes as something of a relief to see Bush finally facing up to the fact if he doesn't act there many very well be just that - no tomorrow. The presidents promise to develop new technology might just become a reality - when you consider it, it is in the interest of Bush to find an alternative to oil not just for the good of the environment, but for the good of his own pocket. A source of fuel that doesn't come from the conflict regions of the middle east, Nigeria etc. would not only ensure power security for the West, but also make it's inventor one rich man. Big business has got us into the position we are in now - perhaps it can pull us out again.

Unfortunately, the environment was somewhat drowned out by the key focus of Bush's State of the Union - war. According to Bush, the US is fighting two wars now - the war on terror and the war on Iraq. However, it is hard to see how the two are really separated - what is the difference between counter terrorism and counter insurgency (or for that matter, a terrorist and an insurgent)? Again, Bush is standing strong against the forces of evil in the world - at home and abroad. The question is can the USA take the pressure? Today, the US government announced it is making plans to fight a new kind of war. In the past, US strategy had been to be able to fight two large-scale wars at once. Now, the plan is that they will be able to fight one of these wars, as well as a more long-term conflict - a war on terror. How long could such a conflict go on for? As long as the Cold War at least, according to one spokesman. Such a "war" (if it can really be called one) does seem very close to the idea of America acting as an international police force. This seems a very negative, and very scary prospect at first - but wouldn't a far more scary one be where the US simply pulls out of all international action - and leaves the world to fend for itself? Perhaps we need America to step up its international presence, to give aid workers and other people the security to go in and fix the damage the USA has done.

However, if the USA really is going to prepare itself for such a "war", then it first needs to radically alter its attitude concerning war. In the modern world, where positive media coverage of a war effort is almost more valuable than the guns, bombs, planes etc. being used, the public in the USA (and in it's allies in any long term conflict) need to realise that in a war there will be casualties. Bush may have taken a step in the right direction by bracing the US for casualties, and presenting American with the reality they will have to "tough it out" - but if the West really does want to win the hearts and minds of those people are fighting - not just in Iraq, but in all other modern conflicts, then we are going to have to start putting more soldiers on the ground, more effort into protecting civilians - rather than relying on hugely powerful air strikes to wipe out the enemy before the ground troops get anywhere near.

So what will the world be like when the next President delivers his (or her) first State of the Union address? Will we be living in a more stable world? A world at war? A world under water? The State of the Union may sound like Bush is setting out what will happen in the coming months, but in reality it is only what he would like to happen - a action plan not a post action report. What we need now is for Bush to stick to his guns in bringing about a change in America's policy towards resources, and in his efforts to really make the USA a safer place. Whether this is indeed the end result, we will just have to wait and see.

For a full transcript and video of Bush's speech, see the link below:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2002/01/20020129-11.html /2002/01/20020129-11.html

Or if the sight of so much pro-bushism offends you:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3415361.stm

God Bless America. God Bless us all.

Happy Birthday Zelda!

2006-02-01T22:29:00.000Z

The Legend of Zelda franchise reaches it's 20th year today, although Nintendo have been putting out some awesome gear such as shirts, prints, and toy collectables to celebrate the Zelda and Link's 20th, however not as much over here in the UK, or the US. Ah well, still, Chimpware would like to wish Zelda a happy 20th!

Legend of Zelda 20th annivesary [site]

News: Attack of the androgynous Arabic activists

2006-02-01T10:38:00.000Z

With all the furor over the Governmental policies aimed at mandating ID cards at public expense there was not too much mild surprise when another part of the plan was revealed to the public. Pre-op crossgender persons may be required to purchase an additional card for their alternative (post-op) gender, The Register reports.

Whilst mildly humourous in and of itself, The Register poses the question of whether this could potentially render the British Public (tm) vulnerable to a new invasion of Al-qaeda operatives using the confusing situation to their advantage. Obviously the combination of multiple ID cards with the potential confusion as to whether to kick them between the legs or not may just give the operative the needed confusion to escape the scene of the attack and the time to flee back to their country of origin.

Perhaps the idea of a man in a stylish lipstick and turban combination calling for a Jihad against the infidels that don't support those disenfranchised with their birth gender is more your cup of tea.

However, I cannot see a simpler soloution and despite the additional costs incurred to those desiring a change I believe that any additional complications beyond that of raising sufficient cash and the normal application process would be improper considering the other difficulties that they have to go through.

How does China Censor the internet?

2006-01-31T22:03:00.000Z

One of the main events recently in the world of technology is of course, Google censoring in China. But how does the Chinese government actually perform this feat? Wikipedia reveals all.

A highly recommended read

'Internet censorship in mainland China' Wiki article
Google

Team Chimpware

2006-01-31T12:27:00.000Z

All the people that make Chimpware Possible. In brackets are their webpage publishing names.

Administrator/Co-editor
Simon Wang (Sideath)

Founder/Co-editor
Matthew Ward (Munki)

Website Contributors
Simon Wang (Sideath)
Matthew Ward (Munki)
Michael Wendland (Fomoria)
Miles Coverdale (Miles)
Ian Forestell (Ahura-mazda)
Sam Street (Sam)
Tom Hockenhull (Nocashvalue)
Adam Shaw (rVEO)
Joe Marks (LoneWookie)
Vinnk (from 4colorrebellion)

Podcast Editor
Simon Wang

Podcast Hosts
Simon Wang
Matthew Ward
Sam Street
Miles Coverdale
Joe Marks

In-House Music
Rowan Coupland (Fine Crystal)

Other Music
Originates from the Podsafe music network.

Chimpware Podcast 4

2006-01-29T21:31:00.000Z

Chimpware Podcast 4! News, Fine Crystal, Discussion.

News: Chimpware Updates, CES, Google, MacWorld Expo, Nintendo DS Lite, Sales
Fine Crystal: Waiting For A Second Sign
Discussion: Er... Munki's Quote Book, Nintendo Strategy, Getting Pissed

Now Fully edited with Audicity!

Enjoy!

Running Time: 34:14

[Direct Download] [Odeo] [iTunes] [Stream] [All Channels]

Medevil: Total War Sequel Announced

2006-01-29T21:07:00.000Z

Sega's hugely successful Total War real time strategy series will return to PC this winter with Medieval 2: Total War.

The sequel comes reinforced with an enhanced campaign multiplayer mode, ramped-up graphics and the ability to field vast armies containing up to 10,000 soldiers.

Expanding the borders of the previous games in the series, Medieval 2 combines bloody European battlefields and desert sieges in the Holy Lands with the discovery of the Americas, and the fearsome Aztec warrior race.

Developer Creative Assembly has consistently turned out Total War sequels that substantially build on previous games so, with deeper siege warfare, building damage, new weapons and more than 200 new army units, Medieval 2: Total War looks set to be the only option for PC warmongers come winter.

Gamesradar Gallery
Total War Site

Source: Gamesradar

Nintendo DS Lite Redesign

2006-01-27T12:42:00.000Z

Nintendo have sneakily announced the new design for the Nintendo DS, called the Nintendo DS lite. Simply trim your DS by 1cm, add cool iPod style and GBMicro buttons, and there you have it!

Product Name : DS Lite
Japanese release date : March 2nd of 2006
Manufacturer desired retail price : 16,800 Yens (~$145 USD)
Dimensions : (Side) 133.0 x (length) 73.9 x (thickness) 21 5mm
[ Current ] : (side) 148.7 x (length) 84.7 x (thickness) 28. 9mm
Weight : 218g
[ Current ] : 275g

Nintendo Co. Offcial Press Release [English translation]

High-resolution images: 01 | 02
Size comparison image: 01 | 02 | 03

Source: 4colorrebellion

Chimpware Newsletter

2006-01-25T21:06:00.000Z

The Chimpware newsletter has now been set up! To subscribe, simply fill out the box below:

Chimpware will then send to emails every so often if there's anything important we need to say.

Amusing - Chimpware Shares!

2006-01-23T21:12:00.000Z

Link

Frankly this is amusing. I didn't do it or register, it was just on there.....

We're worth B$1,488.89, apparently.

Heh heh.

Licence

2006-01-20T21:42:00.000Z

Chimpware is now licenced & copyrighted under the Creative Commons Licence! Therefore, if you wish to use any of our content, please contact us at chimpware@gmail.com.

WEBSITE TEXT LICENCE

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 England & Wales License.

Licenced for Matthew Ward, Simon Wang, Miles Coverdale, Sam Street, Tom Hockenhull, Mike Wendland, Ian Forestell 2005 onwards.

MUSIC LICENCE

This music free to share under a Creative
Commons Music Sharing License.

Licenced for Rowan Coupland (Fine Crystal) 2005 Onward

PODCAST LICENCE

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Sampling Plus 1.0 License.

Licenced For Simon Wang, Matthew Ward, Miles Coverdale and Sam Street 2005 Onwards

CHIMPWARE LOGO / PHOTOS LICENCE

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 England & Wales License.

Licenced for Simon Wang and Tom Hockenhull 2005 Onward

Chimpware prefers... Steam

2006-01-18T10:38:00.000Z

When I first threw the idea of a chimpware prefers... about Steam at Si his initial reaction was "Against what?" But this simple question actually helps to illustrate my point. Steam is THE game delivery system around now. Sure it's not the most used, but it is the best. Si's question shows just how far Valve are ahead of the pack, what other delivery system around can compare to Valve's masterpiece? Well EA have "EA downloader" on which you can buy stuff like the Special Forces expantion for BF2. This works just like steam when you buy the game too, a bit like a p2p network, you can turn off your computer and continue the download from where you left off. However Steam is more then just a game delivery service, it streams updates directly to you machine whenever your online, this eliminates having to trawl through websites and finding a mirror that isn't broken in a stroke. Sure the freinds network is a joke, but if they ever do fix it, Steam will have a built in Xfire-a-like where you can chat, see where people are playing and join them. Thats if they fix it mind. Steam also provides us gamers with news on what Valve are doing and the output of the mod community with is weekly news updates, again eliminating the need to actively search for it yourself. This is gaming on the easy.

Now Darwinia and Ragdoll Kung Foo have been released Valve have shown that they might just be the developer of choice for up and coming studios or just for pieces of Indie gaming. Just look at Red Orchestra which should be out soon, also on Steam. Valve are making games which otherwise would not get released, because they are not financially viable to produce on CD or DVD and giving them a market and advertising. Download Darwinia now. Steam also makes finding your games online easier too, you can search for servers for any of the games you have, even mods. Guess what it's reliable too, unlike say Battlefield 2 which lies to you about a servers latency. So yeah we all know it's not a perfect system, but it's the best out there and it's being constantly upgraded to bring you the easiest gaming experience around. It doesn't hurt that it provides some of the best games ever either does it? If you haven't already (you cave man you) then get with the program, head over to steampowered, download, update and pwn some noobs.

PSP Rant

2006-01-16T14:30:00.000Z

This article originally was posted by Sideath on the 4colorrebellion forums (please click title for link). Republished with permission of author.

Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 10:55 pm Post subject: PSP

I bought a PSP when they first came out in the UK in September 2005. It was good for a while, Lumines and Burnout were fun, and there were a few games I was looking for on the horizon, such as GTA and Infected. I could [almost] (but not quite) say that in the month of September, I enjoyed my PSP more than my Nintendo DS (blasphemy!). I even forked out a substantial amount of money to buy a 1Gb memory card for it, where I loaded up new maps for Wipeout Pure and put music on. However, once GTA came out, everything changed. I now dislike the PSP for several reasons:

1) The PSP Battery Life is too low in the modern day and age to be considered adequate. I could only manage three hours max on GTA, and probably seven hours on Lumines.

2) The PSP Screen has a host of problems. Dead Pixels greatly reduce your gaming experience, and its get smudged so easily - even more so than my iPod. I never had to clean my DS more than twice a week, but I was cleaning my PSP hourly when I played it.

3) The PSP Crashes. Extrememly terrible. I hate it when it does that.

4) The majority of PSP games are not what I would consider 'handheld'. With a few exceptions (Lumines for one), lots of games I only played at home (where my charger was), such as GTA. This was because once the battery light turned low, you still needed you play for around 10 mins (to get back to your savepoint) before you could save. In many cases this would mean my PSP turning off, thus I would lose my advancement. This was VERY irritating.

So, Christmas 2005 I took the decision to sell it on eBay. Problem over. Now I'm enjoying my DS more than ever!

Sorry. Rant over. ;-)

HL2 Mod reviews

2006-01-15T18:17:00.000Z

Reviewed by Sam Street

Having recently played a few Half Life 2 based mods I thought I'd do a little review of them on the website. Firstly I should just point out that I haven't completed Rag Doll Kung Fu yet so as to how qualified I am to review the game is questionable.

Firstly: Dystopia, a well hyped-up mod thanks to the boys at valve who seem to be promoting this as if it were one of their own developments. The game is a typical multiplayer FPS (first person shooter for those who aren't familiar with the term) set in the future (as to how far in the future, I can't remember). It sees the likes of street punks brandishing huge weapons capable of large scale destruction pitting their wits against the mercenary soldiers of the corporations that they are rebelling against.
So on the face of it it's a pretty standard idea of 2 opposing sides, shooting the s(heep) out of each other with big guns (and they do get pretty big in this one). However, there is a somewhat unconvential aspect to the game known as 'cyber space,' any side you choose has the ability to jack in to terminals and move over cyber space which is somewhat of a wierd experience the first time you do it. Your are sent to into a psychadelic world of geometric shapes all coloured in bright lights, reminiscent of Tron for those of you that have seen the film. Whilst in cyber space, you cannot use your conventional weapons, instead you fire light from your fingertips, which sounds cool but when it comes down to combat, is pretty lame really. You can also travel in any direction, and by that I mean run up walls and onto the ceiling, which at first can get pretty dis-orientating, but a genuinely original idea for any game, let alone an online multiplayer FPS.

The point of cyberspace interaction is to complete objectives, which in itself is something you don't often see in online FPS's; they usually take the guise of death-match formats of some sort. The objective completetion results in your team winning the round, and to help you do this, you can select augmentations or upgrades when selecting your class and weapons at the begining of a round. These upgrades include things like stealth, jump boosters etc... much like those found in Deus Ex for those who have played it.
All in all, Dystopia is a pretty good conversion from the tried and tested Half Life format and works on many different levels. It has an excellent visual style, less glossy than Half life's but somehow more smooth, kind of like the mat finish of computer game textures. My one qualm with the game is there has to be one is the lack of weapons: Classes only differ in their choice of primary weapons which is only 3 out of 3 classes bringing the total to only 9 primary weapons as both teams share much of the same weapons.

Onto Rag Doll Kung Fu!
Now this is a truly innovative game as far as I'm concerned, it is essentially a beat-em up for the PC (now there's something you don't see every day) done in a rather cheesy, cartoon-style fashion. First off I think I better point out, being a practioner of a martial art, I do object the mis-use of terms like Chi (one of the game's focuses) as this game does not explain the term properly, if indeed it can be explained at all. However, given the quality of the game I am willing to let it go this time. The game has a sleek visual style, completely different from anythin taken from the source engine I've seen to date. The way the game is played is by controlling the limbs and heads of your character in order to make him/her fight. For example you can move your player's hands in to the path of an attacker's fist in order to block his/her attack. In order to perform your attacks you can hold the right mouse button down on a limb and pull back and release in order to punch or kick. This seems (and in fact is) quite difficult at first but you'll get the hang of it with practice. The game is pretty difficult to be fair, even the training mode is difficult to get through as are the single player missions.

This leads me on to the multiplayer aspect of the game and a word of warning: BE CAREFUL!
If you are the type of gamer who prides him/herself on your ability to take on anyone and win then I would advise you not to go leaping blindly into the mulitplayer mode of this game. It is very difficult to master and there are people who are seriously, seriously good at this game, honestly I don't know how you can get as good at this game as some people are, trust me your ego will be scared for life is you're a particularly proud gamer.

I would highly recommend Rag Doll Kung Fu to any gamer out there who fancies something different. It has a brilliant visual style, a lot to get through, good sense of humour, and is a very well put-together game, not just a novel idea. Just tossing your character in to the air can be entertaining enough, but personally, my favourite moment of this game has to be picking up a pair of nun-chaku and hurling them around by making huge circles with the mouse, destroying everything in my path! O you do feel powerful!

Donate to Chimpware!

2006-01-13T12:48:00.000Z

Please.

Click here

We love you!

New member

2006-01-12T13:33:00.000Z

Chimpware welcomes it's latest, although not greatest contributor: Nocashvalue

Update v.1.5

2006-01-11T13:18:00.000Z

A huge Right hand menu bar overhaul this week - and also, visit our Frappr addon!

Chimpware Frappr activated!

2006-01-11T10:11:00.000Z

I've now created a Chimpware Frappr, so if you're someone internationally we can all see where you're from! You can access the Frappr from the link on the right or the following link:

http://www.frappr.com/chimpware

Enjoy!

Chimpware Podcasts Channels

2006-01-09T19:59:00.000Z

Here are all the Channels the Chimpware Podcasts are signed up for, so you can choose at your leisure:

Direct Downloads:

Archive.org download
Direct Chimpware download - click on title or [Download] on specific podcast
iTunes Download
Newsgator Download
Yahoo! Podcasts
Podcast Pickle

Direct Streaming:

Direct Chimpware streaming - click [Stream] on specific podcast
Odeo Channel
Yahoo! Podcasts

Podcatcher Directories:

Everypodcast.com
CastWiki

Feeds

RSS Feed

Chimpware Prefers... Firefox

2006-01-09T19:39:00.000Z

Another new year, another new Chimpware Editorial. This new editorial will talk about what ChimpWare contributors prefer as their favourite software, hardware, music, film etc. etc. in their specific genre, and why. Firstly, Sideath talks about his internet browser of choice - Firefox.

At it's peak in 2002, Microsoft's Internet Explorer held 96% of the Online Browser market. This was mostly due to the fact that all PCs then manufactured with a version of Windows will have an edition of Internet Explorer, and people being the lazy people that they are, generally sticks to IE as it was funtional tool which poses few problems. However of course, there are many better alternatives out there. I digress - there is one better alternative out there. Firefox. By now Firefox has around 15% of the browser market and rising, and together with Apple's Browser, they are slowly eating away at Microsoft's IE market share.

Why is this? Of course, there are huge advantages to using Firefox - the consumer-friendly tabbed browsing, auto-anti-popup (vastly superior of that of IE, MSN, Yahoo or Google), Faster Internet Surfing (20% faster than IE), and Intergrated Search engines on the top right hand corner of your toolbar. Of course, Firefox is also the best option for seasoned Internet Surfers as well. It Updates itself automatically, it supports next generation media including HD-online media (which has already become surfacing on Google Video) and open web standards, it supports additional extensions and plugins which are unavaliable on IE, it has customization options... the list goes on.

However, in my opinion the most advantageous aspect of Firefox is it's extremely powerful virus and spyware filtering system. Highly advantageous, it basically allowed me to get rid of two of my anti-spyware programs, and I highly recommend it.

Get Firefox!

Chimpware Podcast 3 - Fine Crystal: My Waves are broken

2006-01-07T12:08:00.000Z

Due to exams etc. Team Chimpware did not have the time to sort out a discussion Podcast. However, here is our In-House Musician Rowan Coupland aka Fine Crystal playing one of his songs: 'My Waves Are Broken' from his Album 'Radio'. Enjoy, and I'll probably post more music for the next two episodes!

[Direct Download] [iTunes] [Odeo] [Stream] [All Channels]

Chimpware Podcast on iTunes!

2006-01-07T11:56:00.000Z

It's been a while, and I'm sorry for the delay, but iTunes have been swamped with Podcast subscriptions. Still, better late than never, and now Chimpware is accessible on iTunes!

Please Subscribe if you have iTunes!

Access it here

Or, click the title or the picture on the bottom

Chimpware Forums Active

2006-01-06T12:32:00.000Z

I am please to announce that the Chimpware Forums are now live and you can access it at the following link:

http://forums.cjb.net/chimpware.html

or, click on the forum link on the right hand toolbar, or the title.

Please register ASAP!

NB please note that the previous forum has been deleted. Any suggestions or if you wish to be a moderator please contact us at chimpware@gmail.com.

Anachronox : Revisit

2006-01-04T20:30:00.000Z

Stop. Stop right here. Don't read another word of this revisit. Anything I say will only spoil the wonderful experience that playing this game is. So stop reading right now, log onto E-Bay or any other place you can find four-year-old games for sale and buy it. No arguments. Still reading? Fine. I could try to pick my way around any possible spoilers in this revisit, but instead I'm going to dive straight on in. So read on if you really want to. The main hook of Anachronox is its storyline. Anachronox comes from developers Ion Storm - the makers of Deus Ex, so as you can guess your in for a treat. The game sets out with you playing the role of Sylvester "Sly" Boots - a private detective. A private detective living on an alien built planet, whose inhabitants have all died of a mysterious plague. You job? To save the universe. You see, the universe expanded out from the big bang. Then due to the amount of matter in the Universe, it collapses again, and out of that ball of stuff, a new universe explodes. Only now, some ******* in a universe previous to your is dumping material from his universe into yours, so that his universe won't collapse - it will go on for ever, and you will never have existed. Now, if that isn't a great storyline I don't know what is. But the real beauty of this game is that that is only a tiny part of the whole. Anachronox paints a world around you, filled with some of the most fabulous locations and characters you will ever meet in a game. Mad priests, mad planets, mad robots. And best of all, it's a comedy. Some of the jokes are actually very funny and in many cases unexpected - some you see coming a mile off, but still have great fun when you get there. Like the alien Red Light Zone. Shudder. It occurs to me that I haven't actually said what Anachronox is yet. Well, it's a party based RPG. The main part of the game is played as a third person action-adventure game. However, bolted on to this is a turn based strategy combat element, elements of star-ship piloting and a huge range of other mini-games, that far from breaking the pacing of the game, or jarring with the rest of it, simple form part of the beautiful tapestry of the gamely. Speaking of beautiful, the graphics. Anachronox uses the Quake 2 engine, so as you can imagine it's not the best looking of games - but the innovation shown in the level and character design shines through. Some notable examples are wandering around the Anachronox station itself at the beginning and seeing people walking on ceiling gravity paths, and then being able to walk to where they were - and the (major spoiler ahead) planet that shrinks itself down to human size and becomes a party member. Genius. Anachronox is probably the best game I have ever played. It's quirky, mad, and utter utter genius. It rewards exploration, has a great combat system ("it's not about testing your reactions, it's about having a bigger gun" - the biggest is a planet based nuclear missile strike from the afore said pint-sized planet). One small note of warning though. In the MysTech mines, leave the level after using the moving platform to cross the lava and the lever to operate the door disappears. And you have to start again. But hey, you probably missed a load of Totally Arbitrary Collectable Objects the first time round.

Miles.

http://www.planetanachronox.com/

ChimpWare Podcast 2

2005-12-31T12:52:00.000Z

Due to the relatively huge succsess of the last podcast, the ChimpWare Podcast returns with another fourty minutes of wonderful banter! Presented to you by Simon Wang, Matthew Ward, Miles Coverdale and Sam Street.

To download, once again you have a varity of channels:
Direct Download (either click here or click title)
Archive.org download (link to the left)
Odeo.com direct listening (no download)
iTunes Download
Podcast feed

The programme is as follows:

News:

Chimpware -
Chimpware Updates (http://chimpware.blogspot.com/)
Chimpware Podcast 1
Recent Chimpware Reviews

Gaming -
Nintendo Revolution to be fully revealed in May
EA Acquires Jamdat
DS selling better than PSP

Technology -
Europe builds own Satellite Navigation System
Virgin Glactic Launches

Discussion:

Budget Gaming - The ultimate in gameplay before graphics?

The Gender Gap in Gaming & Technology

Review:

Nintendo DS Hardware
Civilisation IV for PC DVD ROM

Special:

New Year Resolutions

Plugins

Happy New Year!

My Odeo Channel (odeo/a6c41f824de40ced)

Sam and Max Webcomic

2005-12-30T11:31:00.000Z

For those in the know, the Sam and Max franchise has been ressurected by Telltale Games. Meanwhile, I would like to point everyone to their site and also their superb webcomic here.

Enjoy!

NB. To all contributors, you are allowed to linkdump and make brief posts but I won't link the stuff to the right hand menu bar.

Second Opinion: Mario Kart DS

2005-12-29T19:05:00.000Z

Another year, another Mario Kart. It's 2005 and the long awaited Mario Kart DS is finally released onto the shelves of video game stores nation-wide, the title originally preped for release in May of this year. This is for those that don't follow the series, the 5th Mario Kart to be released since it's ancestor: 'Super Mario Kart' on the good old SNES, these games are reborn fairly sparsely when compared to other Mario games, namely the Mario party series which seems to have a new incarnation with the changing of the guard.
Mario Kart DS is the first of it's kind to be released on the DS and is somewhat of a saving grace for the fledling console; with many great titles appearing on the DS, none of them seem to be having a huge impact on the gaming community and Mario Kart DS is just the sort of high profile game that the console needs to regain some of the gaming community's attention.

First of all lets get one thing out of the way for any doubters out there: the touch screen isn't used to control any aspect of the game bar menu navigation so there is very little change in the way the game is played from the other series. That having said, the second screen is an integral part of the game and is an incredible useful tool; it serves as a map of the current course (viewed either as an overview or as a close-up on your character, the more useful of the 2 in my opinion), this map shows you the current strectch of track that you;re on and any other items, hazards, terrain, opponents that are in the vacinity. You can even get through almost the entire game just using this screen, it's that useful as it shows you if an opponent has fired an item at you, enabling you to dodge it. One of the game's new power-ups; the 'Blooper' forces you to use this screen as the item squirts ink onto your top screen, temporarily blinding you. Other new power-ups include 'Bullet Bill' which works much like Chain Chomp in Mario Kart: Double Dash on the gamecube and a 'Bob-omb' which was featured in Double Dash in the multiplayer 'Battle' option but is now a regular power-up.

This as many of you will know, is the first Mario Kart (infact any game for that matter) to use Nintendo's new Wi-Fi connection, enabling you to play people from around the globe. This is essentially internet play, it has relatively trouble-free connection and near lag-less gameplay (a few of the features such as trailing items behind your kart as a shield have been removed to allow for smoother gameplay). However, you can't chose who you play with as such, Nintendo have included a friend code which enables you to find a friend who might be playing but this doesn't garuntee you a slot in their race. Also finding a decent public 'Hot Spot' (a place with a Wi-Fi connection) can be a bit tricky; some have poor reception, other aren't free, etc...
With all this talk on the multiplayer side, you're probably thinking that once again Nintendo has somewhat neglected the single player mode, well you're wrong! The big N have gone all out on the single player this time: There are now 8 cups each with 4 tracks, making a total of 32 tracks (16 new courses, 16 retro tracks from previous games), excluding the Battle tracks, of which there are 7. There is now the option of a single race is you want some good racing action but don't fancy playing a whole cup's worth of races (a feature which I'm supprised wasn't added to the series earlier). The game also features a mission mode in which you must accomplish various tasks such as driving through gates and you'll be given a rank at the end (3 stars being the best and 'E' grade being the worst), these missions will provide you with hours of fun.

So all in all, this has to be the best game of the series, Mario Kart is at it's peak. The game plays like a dream, better than any of the previous games, it's graphics, I think, are astounding; they manage to out-do the N64 and the machine is a quater of it's size! Even the gamecube tracks look fantastic. The game's fault for me, if any, is that despite all the extra single player action...It's still not enough! I want more! If there's one game this year that will eat away console player's valuable time, it's this.

10 out of 10

REVIEW: CALL OF DUTY 2

2005-12-28T20:39:00.000Z

Format: PC and Xbox360 (pc version tested)
Publisher: Activision
Developer: Infinity Ward
Genre: FPS
Price: Premture heart attack
Reviewer: One adrenaline filled Munki

SO WHY ALL THE CAPITALS? BECAUSE CALL OF DUTY 2 IS A CAPITAL LETTER GAME, RAWR!!!!!!. Sorry, I don't know what came over me then COVER ME I'M RELOADING! Ahh! Yeah this has been happening a lot since I got CoD2, and by a lot I mean "for about 20 minutes AFTER I stop playing". It's relentless. It's got no pace. It rips off of Halo quite a bit (I mean Halo of all games?) Yet It's BLOODY AMAZING. English soldiers say "wanker" and "rotter" quite a bit.

relax

and breath

Ok my heart rates back to normal and my breathing's pretty steady, although my cheeks are still so flushed they burn and my ears are ringing from having my headphones on to loud, but then WAR IS LOUD ISN'T IT? Oh god is that chest pain what I think is? No wait, it's gone. MY BRAIN IS THROBBING! This isn't much of a review is it? Sorry but it's damnably hard to review this game, do it too late and all of it becomes one blur of shooting and running FOR THE MOTHERLAND!!! Review it too early, like I'm doing, and your too exted, too pumped full of adrenaline to type without your hands shaking THERE'S LOTS OF GERMANS OVER THERE!!! BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG. AND THATS ABOUT IT. The loading screens are nice. It still looks very sexy even on my pitiful RADEON 9600. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!AAAAH. It has restoring health , a grenade button, a bash key, checkpoints, and a two gun limit, see what I mean about the Halo bit. God I think I need a lie down. AAAAAAAAHHHH. Christ does the killing never end? At least the original had quiet moments to allow you to think about what you've just done! Where the hell are the quiet moments? It's not even quiet now and I'm not playing anymore. I'm scared. AAAAAAAHHHH GERMANS ON THE LEFT FLANK.

Ace.

9 out of ten

Update v.1.4

2005-12-28T14:08:00.000Z

A few more updates this Christmas season:

1. The Chimpware Podcast is now live
2. Now anyone can post comments - however if this is abused then the old settings will be enforced
3. Chimpware now has its own RSS feed
4. Chimpware Writers now have the added 'link' function, which means that you can add a link, either to a file (eg the Podcasts) or a website (eg Sam's Mario Kart DS Second Opinion). The link can be accessed by clicking the title of the article.

Happy Hannuka!

[revisit] Counter - Strike: Source

2005-12-26T16:46:00.000Z

Format: Pc
Publisher: Valve (via Steam)
Producer: Valve and Turtle Rock Studios
Genre: Online First Person Shooter
Price: Variable (depends on package)
Origin: US
Reviewer: Munki

Ah Counter-Strike, cs, cs, cs. After playing every incarnation of this game for as long as I have it's strange that I'm finding it so hard to begin a review/revisit of source. I suppose the best place to start is the source engine. It's perfect eye candy delicious explosions, twisty fun ragdoll physics and beautifully high polygon models with amazing textures. It sounds great as well, carpets crunch under your feet, computers crashing apart as you knife them; and all this visual and audio beauty wrapped around the legendary cs gameplay. it should be perfect, it should be amazing, it's not. So in this revisit I'm going to concentrate rather unfarely on the negative, we all know whats good about counter-strike and the source engine so theres no point going over that again and again and again.

Deep breath Munki, you can do this, you can slate the game thats been running your life for a while now. The gameplay is flawed. There, you did it, come on you can keep this up, just breath. I don't mean CS's gameplay in general is flawed, just sources; but how so young Chimp? 'Tis simple Valve have lost sight of what made CS so fun in the first place. Ouch. I mean come on we didn't play 1.6 for it's grainy textures, poor physics and laughable lighting did we, or should I say do it's still very popular you know. So where does CS:S go wrong if it's a simple port of 1.6? Well to be honest it's not even that, immediatly the lack of a riot shield and the restriction of 2 player models per team is the most obvious difference but there are more subtle differences you only pick up on by being a complete geek like me. Firstly, rather than port 1.6's weapon behaviour to their new game, like they did in Condition Zero, Valve altered them slightly. i don't know what they intended this to do but it must not have had the desired effect, you can now spray someones legs or lower torso with an automatic and get a headshot. For a game that is supposed to reward skill this is a serious problem. Whilst on the topic of rewards CS used to reward stealth and teamwork, Source seems to like rushing around spraying your colt everywhere. The biggest problem doesn't alter the gameplay like those, it's just plain bad. When you shoot at someone it doesn't hit them. This is something of a problem for a shooter, no? What do I mean by this? Well basically sources hitboxes lag behind the model they are meant for, this is fine if the player is standing still, but it means that to kill a moving target you have to actually fire behind the enemy to do any damage. I believe this requires a collective WTF??!!111!!!eleventyone?? This isn't lag caused by engine limitations or serverside lag, this is a clientside problem that afflicts everyone, it's like they built it into the game. This problem has been known about since source was released, which was a while ago, yet still it remains. I thought Valve were supposed to listen to their fans. So what have they been doing with all these updates? Ruining perfectly good maps? Yeah, this is a nerd gripe but the new versions of classics like Inferno, Train and Assualt are pretty bad. Let us call this the Turtle Rock effect (after the company that made the maps).
Other updates have made new world model animations, wow now I can see the gun on your back or the clip come out of your gun when you reload! Or maybe adding HDR, which is nice, but not great, and most people turn off anyway. So basically yeah, Valve have concentrated on "secksifying" a pretty sexy game already rather then crush the annoying and rather fun sapping major bugs. Hey at least they got rid of the infamous (and comical) $1500 bug. Oh well, easy come eh? Back to CS:CZ for me until Valve fix up Source.

Six out of Ten (but Ten once they fix it)

Review: Sony Playstation Portable (PSP)

2005-12-26T14:07:00.000Z

Manufacturer: Sony Computer Entertainment (SCE)/Sony
Use: Primarily Handheld Games Machine, also Multimedia Device
Price: UK Value Pack £179.99, Giga Pack £219.99
Origin: Japan
Reviewer: Sideath

Nintendo has more or less dominated the handheld gaming market for more than 15 years with the Game Boy model. Affordable, portable, reliable and simple. Over 100 million Game Boys have been sold, and have beaten off competition from such big names as Sega, 3D0 and Atari. Now, nearing the new generation of videogames, Nintendo has a real challenge - a challenge with the name, the style and the power - the Sony Playstation Portable (PSP).

The PSP is a very functionable peice of kit. The four face buttons are very responsive, as is the directional buttons. However, the thumb nub/joystick on the bottom left hand corner of the PSP could be done better - only after an hour of play your thumb will become uncomfortable as a requires a certain amount of energy to move the nub about - an it is not as effortless as a console joystick, persay. The actual resposiveness of the thumb nub could be better. Since this is the major control function for certain PSP games such as GTA: Liberty City Stories and also Star Wars: Battlefront II, this could cause problems for PSP owners.

The PSP started off in Japan with problems. The square button was pretty unresponsive due to its distance from the PSP screen, there were many problems with dead pixels (which still troubles consumers today). Over 30% of all PSP sold in Japan in the first month of PSP sales were returned to Sony for repair or exchange. Considering Sony are alreadly making a loss on Sony PSP sales (the total cost of production was around 130% cost of the retail price in Japan), this was not good news. Sony was actually making a loss on the huge amount of PSP sales - and then all the problematic exchanges.

The Screen on the Sony PSP is quite amazing, possibly the best portable screen EVER (although Munki would disagree), although this could lead to more likely to problems with the screen (tilted screen, dead pixels etc.) being more apparent, but still, this massiveness of the screen is by far the best function of the PSP. If definetly draws attention from your fellow coworkers/students/people on the bus. Extremely clear, extremely sharp. Excellent.

The Japanese launch was quite successful, beating the Nintendo DS in the first month, and until Nintendogs was released, was top of the hardware charts. The launch came and went, and the problems were forgotten by the media, but not by Sony. The manufacturing process was not perfected by Sony by the US launch, but still, the US lauch was indeed successful, even more so than in Japan. The chic, 'mainstream' US audience pounced on the PSP in the same way that er... Munki pounces on a new Counter-Strike update. ;-)

Of course, like any other console, however much the manufacturing process is perfected, there are still fundemental problems with the PSP. The battery life is relatively low - around 8-10 hours on a low-disc connectiong game like Wipeout Pure, which loads the race onto the game's memory. However, with a game or UMD movie which constantly reads of the disc such as GTA: Liberty City Stories this can go to as low as 4 hours. A spare battery is almost definetly a must [as we're talking about spare batteries, I have 2 spare batteries I want to sell - £8 each contact chimpware@gmail.com]. I say 'relatively' because it is low compared other handheld consumer items such as the Nintendo DS (15-20 hours), Game Boy Micro (25+ hours), Apple iPod (15 hours) or Mobile Phones (up to 7 days).

Meanwhile, the PSP in the world seems to be on the way up. It has a thriving underground community (whether Sony likes it or not), and all of Tristar, Universal or Columbia's new movies are also produced in UMD format as well as DVD format (partly because Sony is a majority share holder in all three companies). Also, the development of cheaper memory sticks truly make the PSP multimedia - oh did I mention? It can play MP3 music, MP4 or MPEG movies and show photos. Now 1GB memory cards are relatively affordable (on eBay, at least), hence the inclusion of the 1GB memory card in the new PSP Giga Pack.

In conclusion, the PSP, whatever its shortcomings and problems (which still exist, I must admit) is here to stay, and although it currently doesn't dominate the handheld gaming market, it is still a threat to the firm foundations of the Game Boy franchise and the Nintendo DS.

seven out of ten

ChimpWare Gaming Podcast 1

2005-12-24T20:22:00.000Z

The First ChimpWare Gaming Podcast is now live! To download, either click the main title, or click one of the following links:

Direct Download
Archive.org download (link on the left)
Odeo Direct Listening (no download)
iTunes download (in development)
Podcast Feed

My Odeo Channel (odeo/a6c41f824de40ced)

Here is programme we worked to when doing the podcast:

Welcome to the first ChimpWare Podcasts!
Simon Wang, Miles Coverdale and Matthew 'Munki' Ward talks about:

News:
World of WarCraft,
Xbox 360 on eBay,
UT2007 on PS3,
ATi losing profit,

Discussion
Next Gen controllers,
Miles losing his Counter Strike Virginity,
CWg Awards,

Review
Battlefield 2
King Kong Movie

Favourite Websites and Podcasts

Merry Christmas!

The podcast is created using Skype, PowerGramo, ccPublisher and SmartFTP. It will show up on iTunes soon. Many thanks to Miles Coverdale and Matthew Ward my co-hosts and Nick Luckett of 4colorrebellion.

Feel free to comment on the podcast and also please email chimpware @ chimpware@gmail.com if you wish to join chimpware, cohost a podcast or become a contributor.

Chimpware Contact

2005-12-24T15:25:00.000Z

Chimpware now has a contact email if you wish to contact us about anything.

It is chimpware@gmail.com.

Chimpware's first Century

2005-12-06T12:03:00.000Z

Chimpware, since I updated it on the 24th November (12 days ago), has achieved 100 hits! Not too shabby, even if I say so myself. I hope that Chimpware will grow from strength to strength and would like to thank everyone who supported it. I know 100 in 12 days isn't very much, but hey, it's a start. 1000 hits, here we come!

Review: Mario Kart DS (DS)

2005-11-30T10:28:00.000Z

Format: Nintendo DS
Publisher: Nintendo
Producer: In-House
Genre: Racing
Price: £29.99
Origin: Japan
Reviewer: Sideath

So, it's finally arrived. The fifth installment of Mario Kart, for Nintendo's current-gen console, the Nintendo DS. This game seems to be at the peak of the series, and has all the good qualities of the previous Mario Karts, but also more besides.

You want substance? Mario Kart DS has enough to keep you (and your friends) busy for years to come. With 32 tracks to choose from (which are then mirrored, meaning you really get 64 tracks), you are kept constantly busy on the racetrack, and if you're feeling nostalgic, half of those tracks are from previous Mario Karts - four from each console. The GameCube Double Dash tracks are the weakest of the four (although they look the best), as the style of play varies the most from other consoles, but nevertheless all the Retro tracks are excellent. But still, the new tracks stand firmly on their own as excellent examples of what Mario Kart can offer, especially the ones influenced by tracks from various other Nintendo games (wait till you get your hands on the new Bowser's Castle and the track influenced by Mario64's Tick Tock Clock! Gaming at it's best!). But the substance doesn't stop there. New features include a new Mission mode, which, although relished and consumed quite quickly, introduces you to the finer points of Mario Kart DS's tracks and handling; a new, advanced Time Trial mode, with influenced bottom screen help; and also CPU Battle modes, which of course allows you to take advantage to the CPU to full effect. You want substance? Mario Kart has substance.

You want style? Let me say this - Mario Kart DS is the most battle-oriented Mario Kart game to date. To many (including myself), this is a good thing, not only does this mean that you see shells flying everywhere, but also races are much closer, even on 2-player versus mode (beating Sam 14 to 12 currently). The tracks and battle maps also reflect on this style of play, and some of the Retro tracks have been changed slightly to suit this style, which is a good thing, trust me. You want style? Mario Kart has style.

You want cool multiplayer? This is the aspect of Mario Kart which really does shine. Multiplayer is now CPU supported, so you can have 8 players on the track whatever number of human players there are. I'm also really looking forward to playing Mario Kart online, via the Nintendo WiFi Online Connection, and apparently there is very low lag, and races are as smooth as if your opponents are standing in the next room. However, since I have not played online yet, I cannot speak for this entirely. And of course, the games themselves You want cool multiplayer? Mario Kart has cool multiplayer.

Currently it seems that my review is going towards the way of a press release or a game advertisement, so now it would seem wise to say some of its cons. The gratest disadvantage Mario Kart has on it's opponents (eg. Wipeout Pure, Ridge Racers) is graphics - the weapons themselves look 2-D, and people will complain about it's lack of animation for various weapons compared to games such as Double Dash, per-say. But then, graphics wasn't the reason you bought a DS, surely? Also, sometimes the game will seem strangly unfair, for example getting hit by two blue shells meters before the finish line, but then this can be explained with the ferocity of ZangbandTK: after all, it was your fault for being first wasn't it? ;-)

But anyway, problems aside, Mario Kart DS is one hell of a game, and I would recommend it to anyone with a DS, or any Mario Kart fan.

nine out of ten
Recommended Award

Film Review - Trainspotting (Explicit Content)

2005-11-24T16:47:00.000Z

"Choose life. Choose a joab. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a f**king big television. Choose washing machines, cars, etc."
Although this film is actually 9 years old, I have just recently watched it. For the fifth time.

To start even thinking about watching this film, one has to throw all convention out the window. A Clockwork Orange, Pulp Fiction and other films do not compare in the un-convention of this film. Just as a side recommendation, I would also read the novel by Irvine Welsh by the same name.

The film starts off with the main character, Mark Renton (Ewan McGregor), running away from a few police officers. Over the top of the mid-80's rave music is the quote above. Renton eventually runs into a car, and gives his very nice, toothless, Heroin - addict's smile.

Gratuitous use of the C-word and f**k are among the main staples if this film, and without them, it would honestly wreck the whole authentic "Scottish" feel of the film. After seeing Ewan McGregor's penis, one would think that it couldn't get worse. Hell, if Lisa Minnelli couldn't get worse, think again. Well, it does in fact (surprisingly) get worse. But it does so in such an amazing fashion, seamless one might say, that it beats all other film-making styles, and makes the viewer feel at is in the chaotic world of lower-class Edinburgh.

The film, from the point of view of a stylistic critic, does not really compare to Lawrence of Arabia, or Das Boot. But the way in which it pushes the sociological boundries of filmaking, makes it an absolute must-see.

Nine out of Ten

Update v.1.3

2005-11-24T16:39:00.000Z

A few changes this week:

*The biggest change is probably the title - As this webpage is probably now the only Chimpware Webpage still running, so now it has become the Chimpware HQ
*Unfortunaly, Google Adsense has caught a whiff of our blog and thus are putting ads on it - this may be a good thing as I might (very unlikely, but might) get paid ;-)
*Added a hit counter

Next update possibilities

*Chimpware Podcast
*Chimpware Forum
*Chimpware Newsletter

Combat Mission Anthology

2005-11-17T17:15:00.000Z

Today folks, I present to you, something a little bit different.

Major Howard has landed with some units of D Company, 6th Airborne just off the orne river. I pan up, ahead I see the town of Benouville, just in front however is a problem, a German Pillbox and a stone one at that. I don't think my PIAT's are going to be enough, and worse I know the Germans are being reinforced with armour later.

What would you do in this situation? Panic? Rush? Fall back? Combat Mission gave me another option, I didn't actually have to nock the pillbox out, all I have to do is capture the bridge it's defending. My solution? Easy I order a private to wing a smoke grenade in front of the 'box, his field of view is broken, if he can't see me he can't fire at me.

Combat Mission is a turn based ww2 strategy with a clunky, ugly engine, long load times and ferociously difficult AI; but it does have it's bad points. I first came across this game when I read a review of the second in the series, my purchase was sealed when the anthology (conatining all 3) was on sale in my local gamestation for a fiver. Bloody bargain.

The pillbox eliminated Howard and his men are on a thin strip of land between two rivers, his orders are to take the bridge on each river, the only problem is he hasn't many more men. His men are ordered to fan out, into the trees to shelter from the MG34's which just opened up on them, bullets wizz around the battlefield; my men should be dying but somehow their still firing back.

One of Combat Mission's unique points is the way it handles combat. Essentially it is much more realistic then it's rts brethren. Instead of the usual "your men fire at their men but their men have more health so your's always die" of strategy combat CM takes the approach of "your men fire at their men, they fire back, but both of your blokes miss becasue their just raw recruits but then your bloke gets lucky and hits the enemy, who then hits the deck and runs off towards that building over there". Battles in CM can take hours, and frankly you don't need to kill enemies, you can capture them, make them run, or simply force them to ground where they can make no impact on the battle.

I've got more men now, another glider full of troops has landed on th other side of the bank, I don't see the glider the engine can't really handle that but my men take the far bridge anyway without a shot being fired. My first group have set up a vickers and have got the germans heads down, even taken a few prisoners. It's time to rush the bridge, I need to capture it before those German tanks arrive and my men are running low on ammo. I bunch them by the pillbox to take cover before ordering a full on charge, the Germans open up and my first few men drop like flies, dammit this won't be as easy as I thought.

CM has an excellent interface, just right click on the unit you want and a list of possible actions appear, walk, run, set fire/cover arc, creep, go prone. Whatever you wan't to do you can probably do, using tanks to shelter troops on the back is one of CM's guilty little pleasures.

The men on the bridge are panicking, worse the smoke has cleared and that bunker has opened fire on the fresh troops on the far bridge, they leg it, some to the trees and others into a trench, my mortars are down, altough I've captured this bridge the men on it won't be able to help the others on the other bank. Damn. A few mouse click take me to the soldiers height level, skimming over to my men dieing in the field of view the ground shakes as an 88 targets a group of them, they hold fast though, their battle experince and training paying off. However, I sit there unable to save them, even to order them around.

Even the turn based combat is uncoventional, instead of doing it in an Advance Wars style CDV (that's the blokes who made it lads) have taken a less empowering approach. You set you men orders, tell them where to move, to fire and then hit "go". You then have to watch a minute of combat which you can not influence; you just watch the men carry out your orders. Or at least try to carry out your orders, these men is clever. The number of times I've been screaming at my moniter as my soviet tank hunters have got caught in crossfire and instead of throwing their molotov's at the Panzer have instead decided that discretion is the better part of valour and legged it.

Saved! A group of commando's arrive with their Churchill tank fresh from Sword beach, it's armour is to think for these puny Nazi weapons, BOOM! The 88 is on fire and it's occupants are fleeing from my machine gun fire, rallying, the men on the bridge try one last desperate rush. The commando's tip the ballance and the bridge is mine, those Germans who survived are fleeing back into the town. I took the bridge before the German tanks arrived and I've won the day, the pillbox is easily taken down with my Churchill's massive armamament.

Armoured combat is modeled similarly to infantry, except that hull thikness and even shape are taken into account, CM pulls no punches with the realism, every type of tank from every army that fought in the west (and Russia) is there in every possible composition, even those which seem pointless. Apart from nothing's pointless, that little wasp flamethrower carrier may have no armour or ranged protection but give it enough protection and it'll easily take down a Tiger, easily triple it's own points value. Not much is as satifying as the look of horror on your freinds face during your hotseat match when his puny Pak anti tank gun get the "Ricochet" on your advancing T 34s because their hull repels hollow charged projectiles.

BUT THAT DAMN ENGINE. It's the real downer here, if you can't stand ugly grapgics then don't even bother here, no particle effects, no shadows, no simple way of managing more then one unit at a time making convoys damnably tricky.

nine out of ten

If you can look past the clunky engine you get the best strategy money can buy, and battles are real stories with real emotion invested in your men. Only the best military minds need apply.

[Review] Razer Viper

2005-11-17T17:14:00.000Z

Item Type: Mouse
Brand: Razer
Model: Viper
Link: http://www.razerzone.com/

The Good The Viper is a very nice mouse to look at, hansomly resembling it's namesake, and the casing is designed so that the led glows eerily through the mouse giving it a nice look. The buttons are nice and big, and it has handy non slip "rails" running down the side making the whole thing easier to hold. It is also very comfortable to use. First and formost this a gaming mouse, so expect lightning fast reactions, 1000 dpi (dots per inch), thats 200 more then say, the MX led series offers. So during a game it handles beautifully, tracking all of your movements smoothly, allowing you to get very precise aim, or to spin round really, really fast. For a laugh I set the Vipers sensitivity on full (using the handy software icluded) and CS: S sens on full to then just moved my hand from one side of my mousemat to the other, the result: lots of comedy spinning, and eventually my game crashing. The clincher? it was £30 when i bought it and must be considerably cheaper now. Plus the usb bit is gold. Anything gold reeks of quality, and bling.

The Bad it's a bit small, really small. Even my baby like hands dwarf this little beast so I suppose this could be a serious problem for the larger handed individual. Also the mouse whell is rubbish, it clicks annoyingly and doesn't always respond to being used as a middle click button; and while we're on the subject of buttons, there are only three, if that's a real problem for you (yes YOU you MX user).

The Skinny A small, sleek mouse, with a few problems but a lot more good points, in fact I'd positively recommend it to all those speed freaks out there. Also the gold.

Chimp says :

nine out of ten

Miyamoto turns 53!

2005-11-17T11:01:00.000Z

CWN would like to wish a very happy birthday to the genius behind Mario and Zelda, Shigeru Miyamoto, who turns 53 today!

Source: 4colorrebellion

Miyamoto Wiki
Miyamoto Shrine ;-)

Lateral Thinking - Reserve or Release

2005-11-17T10:45:00.000Z

This article was originally written for Sideath's blog. Republished by authour for CWN.

Are reservations a sign of weakness?

Gamestation recently have stopped taking Xbox 360 reservations. My branch are getting about 35 and all have beeen reserved - a full month before the launch date! Anyone who wants an Xbox 360 before Christmas has three choices - eBay, kill for it, or go to ASDA.

My local branch of ASDA will recieve 5 Pro Packs of the Xbox 360 when they are released. They're not taking reservations. I'm willing to bet that if I walked into ASDA on the 25 November before noon then there is a perfectly good chance of getting my grubby mitts on one. It would be amusing to see the queues of people outside GAME, ePlay et al while I simply stroll into ASDA and pick up my Xbox 360 - not that I will of course, if the price/timeline of the Xbox is anything to go by.

But still, what of Reservations? Of course, I admit, I did reserve the Nintendo DS, and the due fact that I did not reserve my Sony PSP meant that I had to wait for a month before I could get one - however, surely a reservation would mean that you need an item (ie. as a drug or tobacco effect) rather than simply desiring it? After all, no-one reserves a new screwdriver or the lastest printer out on the market, do they? Why does this phenomena occur for the videogame market? Why this constant obsession? Do we blame the videogame industry for not making a great enough supply to meet demand, or do we blame ourselves and our constant addiction to videogaming?

Review: The Gorillaz - Demon Days

2005-11-16T22:25:00.000Z

Good morning to all present. I have recently been added by Sideath to this little blogspot here. I thought that for my first little post, I would speak about an album I just aquired.

The Gorillaz - Demon Days.

Starting off, I would just like to state that normally, I would not allow myself the thorough discomfort of listening to a rap album. But in this case, along with the recommendations of my friends, I thought I should give these primates a chance.
It certainly payed off. Although there are a few tracks on the record that are not as clear, and may I say, interesting as others on it, overall the album is worth its money.

In classic old-style record, D2 chose to start the album off with a little introductory song, with a few musical themes from Dawn of The Dead. I will not go into depth on the subject of DOTD, because frankly, it sucks.
Anyway, the album continues on with a few more tracks, which are all quite good, although a little repetitive until you come to track five, where the repetitiveness ends. This is were D2 chose to introduce his first guest rapper. The name of the track is called Dirty Harry, and along with a mix of excellent poetic rap, great bass quitar riffs, and a little of a children's choir, this song is weird enough to be quite amazing.
We go on to track eight (after tracks 6 and 7, obviously). This song is my only criticism of the album. I think that if there could be a song that should be cut from the record, it's number eight. It's repetitive as your grandmother, and it has no point whatsoever. Moving on, we seven more amazing tracks, which end with the title song Demon Days. This track is perfect to end an album with, because it combines themes from earlier in the album, and introducing newer, more experimental (if that's possible) music.

So, I would just like to declare that never have I been interested in rap. Ever. But this has certainly broadened my tastes a little. If you're into fusion rock/choral/rap/everything, you should certainly check out The Gorillaz - Demon Days. I give it an:

eight out of ten

Changes to CWN (v.1.2)

2005-11-16T21:26:00.000Z

Due to the huge amount of spam in the Comment section, I have been forced to make the following changes:

*Comments can now be posted only by blog members - to become a member, please contact me on freeyourmindsqw@hotmail.com
*Comments are now shown in a popup window
*Posts shown has been raised to 25
*Time Zone changed to UTC+00:00 Europe/London

I am also thinking about changes to the description of CWN (ie apart from 'Free Your Mind') underneath the main heading. Any suggestions please email at freeyourmindsqw@hotmail.com

Also see Mike (Fomoria's) excllent review below!

Rant/Review : Mobile Phones, Mobile Phone Companies, Sony Ericsson & K700i in particular

2005-11-15T23:38:00.000Z

Introduction
I recently acquired (not bought, why would I shell out even £30 for something that I hardly use?) a new Mobile Phone - I refuse to abbreviate this, mobile is already a word - and my experience was at first composed of sheer joy at the capabilities of my new doohickey when compared to my previous version (which was of a different make, too). That was before I realised that over a similar period of time they could have gone a bit further for very little extra cost.

I will now begin to summarise my gripes and joys of this new Phone.

Hardware
This new phone of mine, the K700i by Sony Ericsson has all the new fashions; there's the built in colour camera capable of recording movies, there's a whopping - at least for a Mobile Phone - 41 megabytes of memory (though they do note that it might not quite have so much depending on configuration), there's some kind of internet connection or something, there's an expansion in the sound department from almost monotone to "polyphonic" (whatever that means), there's a radio, there's an MP3 player, there are loads of buttons placed in arbitrary places and they're even smaller now, there's the large colour screen with a greater resoloution than before, there are some connectors down on the bottom and they're not like any I've seen before, there's bluetooth, there's... um, is that all?

I don't mean to be overly cynical, but I see the biggest change as being the camera. I don't need a camera, everything else is evoloution of what was already there. The radio is the feature I see myself using most, because I really do want to listen to Radio 4 loads more since it's just so good but I figure that if I really wanted to do that a huge amount I'd get a real radio with a large aerial since the reception is really quite erratic.

Bluetooth is rather handy, I guess. But about three times as frustrating as providing a little phone-USB connector. Yes, I despise installing additional software on the computer just to communicate with my phone, more crap is not what I want.

I'm not complaining much, it's a feat of impressive engineering that they managed to make it so light (93g, it feels about half the weight of my previous mobile phone) and small (about 90 cubic cm, I estimate that's about two thirds of the size of the old mobile phone) but for me, most of that is wasted on the camera.

The screen is nice, but too low res compared to what I'm used to running (I'm a computer geek, I know my resoloution stuff). More specifically, when my favourite desktop image is shrunk to fit on it (and cropped because mobiles don't use 4:3 or even 16:9) it's far too difficult to see. So I cropped and halved the crop size, this worked rather nicely and I have the face of my current favourite picture as the background.

Now we move onto the buttons and other control systems. These are - to say the least - fiddly and unwelcoming to my fingers, I guess I'm a bit rusty on my "pressing small things rapidly in predefined orders" skills since I'm just a touch typist but I make so many more errors with the buttons since switching. Interestingly enough, they have replaced some of the buttons with a little joystick device and made clicking it another button, I can't quite get the hang of clicking something that moves so easily and I end up sometimes moving to the wrong options before it registers the click, once again I probably lack the manual dexterity required to do this properly.

Still on the subject of buttons, I find we have four buttons on the sides of the phone, three on one side labeled with options that lead me to think they're focus or zoom controls for the camera and the take picture option. They seem to control brightness and switching between "Movie" and "Picture" modes from what I gather. Things you can do from the keypad anyway. I hear the next-generation phones have undersized keyboards, good luck trying to type on buttons that are about a tenth of the size of what they are already.

The memory could be larger and I get worried about filling it up, generally I've removed all my non-essential and non-protected files. Unfortunately, they force you to keep some files and don't allow you to delete them, even if they're not being used including some themes and a game. I don't have a mobile to play games, I have it because I can use it as a tool to acquire numbers for people so that I can expand my own databases and also as the occasional contact tool.

In conclusion I'd happily give up the camera and increase the dimensions for a larger memory for more contacts.

Software
Software is the side I probably have a better time ranting about, since I'm an amateur programmer and I know what a good program can and should do. I have OSS leanings, but we don't care about that here since I don't particularly care about getting under the skin of this particular Mobile Phone's software.

First, we talk about the most fundamental underpinnings of any data storage service, the database. Their designs have improved since my last foray into contact-taking but they just don't have enough options. If my friend has two home numbers, what do I do? I guess I can accomodate it in "Other" but if they have more than that I'm screwed without using things like "Fax" that just make browsing the address book illogical. Can't they figure out what a linked list is?

The files you store are broadly categorised into "Pictures," "Movies," "Sounds..." "Sounds," that's stupid, haven't you heard of "Audio," or even "Music." Maybe it's a case of targetting a certain market, certainly I would say that many people don't seem to know what music is and find the word "Audio" even more elusive. That doesn't stop me missing the option to listen whatever MIDIs I might have previously put on my phone. Not that I'd be caught dead listening to them, whoever listens to music, especially on a phone and especially if you don't want someone to ask you what it is you're listening to. Useless "innovations" aside for the moment.

The software dealing with the radio once again fails to include the linked list concept but apart from that, it's usable if a little confusing since there's nothing to tell you if you're listening to FM, LW, MW (being born in an era in which they weren't all the same thing leaves me feeling vulnerable a bit) or something else altogether but at least I can find what I think is Radio 4 using it, no complaints.

Upon turning my phone on, I commonly try to start using it right away. Of course at this point my phone is "searching," for what I don't know, maybe whilst it's doing this it can help me solve my complex number questions or something, or generate a pretty fractal. I'm sure that flash memory doesn't take that long to read.

Most of the features are unfortunately unused by me, I can see the use of certain organiser features but I'd be hard pressed to express myself fully on this particular setup, since it lacks a way for me to easily type.

Actually, my impression of the software isn't that bad, just the lack of linked lists is annoying.

At least they can update software.

Conclusions
Mobiles Phones are "neat" and flashy, but they don't have an upgrade path. They - instead- have a replacement path in which each new "version" is released as a full product with a confusing number to imply that it is just a newer version of the same phone and you need to upgrade, for amounts sometimes in excess of £100. I only acquired my phone because my mother had submitted to the addictive replacement syndrome and got the K750i, which I only know because I have the site for Sony Ericsson open in a tab.

I have to hand it to the Mobile Phone companies, they do know their marketing strategies and they have made a potent brew. It's a pity that such talent is wasted on a market that has reached the peak of it's original content and has had to overflow into new territory in order to justify expansion.

I don't like giving scores because I just can't quantify the mess of ideas in my head, let's just say that although people have called me a hypocrite for using this phone (I aruge against the inclusion of various features) I really am just using it for two things, Radio and a Bludgeoning weapon if I ever need to defend myself against some kind of diminutive humanoid.

Chimpware Reportage Archive

2005-11-11T11:06:00.000Z

[Reports]
Random Election Parties
Xbox 360
The Politics of Electronic Entertainment (UK Election 2005)

Chimpware Twenty Questions Archive

2005-11-11T11:04:00.000Z

Every so often, Chimpware will release Twenty Questions about a specific subject, anything from Custard to Nintendo. Difficulty will range from pretty difficult to so difficult you have to look it up... and still you may not find the answer! I'll be genuinely surprised if someone gets the right answer to all twenty questions.

[Twenty Questions]
Nintendo 2003-2005

Chimpware Events Archive

2005-11-11T11:02:00.000Z

Events, events... etc. A bright point in the dull sky...

CWg 2005 Summer Awards

Updates Archive - The Development of Chimpware

2005-10-11T11:16:00.000+01:00

Current Version: v.1.5

[Updates]

v.1.5 Update
v.1.4 Update
v.1.3 Update
v.1.2 Update

Chimpware Navigation

2005-10-11T11:14:00.000+01:00

- If not on main page, click big title 'Chimpware' on top to return to main page (unless you click an archive folder, then there is a Chimpware Main link on the right menu bar).
- Navigational, Tech, Forum or Podcast problems, or if you just want to leave a comment, feel free to contact chimpware@gmail.com

Suggested Play

2005-10-11T11:12:00.001+01:00

All of our favourite shareware games

Gish
N
Uplink Mods
Spoof Filmage
Stick Soldiers
Interactive Text Fiction
ShareWare and FreeWare